I posted this in general curly area but I want to get advice here too

I have 4b natural hair, no real curl pattern though. My hair feels like it is low porosity with medium to thick flat strands (on the healthy hairs I can find). It generally feels hard and wiry if I use protein conditioners. I am baffled at why I have so many complex split ends and midshaft splitting.

I've been natural for 7.5 years and can never make it past neck/collarbone length hair

My regimen:
I Co-wash every 1 - 3 weeks with Suave Naturals or Jessicurl Cleansing cream. Rarely use shampoo maybe 2 -3 times a year. I use Miss Jessie's Rapid Recovery as a DT 1-2 times a month.

I detangle in the shower with conditioner and a wide tooth comb. I recently got a Tangle Teezer, but I have only used it twice.
I use KCKT or HEHH as a leave in then either a glycerine/water based spray or Miss Jessies baby buttercreme depending on the time of year (summer/winter).
I air dry my hair pulled into a puff or twist it up. I have only used my blowdryer 3 times since I went natural
Once its in a puff I reshape it with some water and patting pushing with my hands during the week, no combing or picking usually.

Moisturize every 1 -2 days with the glycerin spray or MJBB

I always sleep in a satin pillowcase and satin bonnet.

What do I need to do differently??
Any ideas?

I am now considering more protein, but my hair always feels so rough after any protein conditioners.
Natural since 8/03