I'm not over 40 yet, but I do have a quarter-sized gray patch close to the front of my head. It's actually kind of a nice silver color, and if it were in front, I might consider leaving it color-free.

I think some people look amazing with gray hair, and others truly do look less vibrant or older than their actual age. It's not an across-the-board thing, in my mind.
2c/3a with 2b underlayer. Fine, porous. Loves protein. But not hydrolized wheat protein. Yuck.

Wash: WEN Sweet Almond Mint or Pomegranate
Gels: LA Looks Sport Gel
Mousse: Tigi Catwalk Curlesque
Curling creams/gellies: Coffee Coco Curling Cream Lite, Spiral Solutions Curl Enhancing Jelly, Curls Gel-les'c