Frick! My throat hurts so bad, as of this morning! I'm really wishing I had thrown that bag of cough drops sitting on my dresser into my luggage after all...

When the family found out, they all said "Oh, it must have been because we used the air conditioning in the car yesterday!"

Huh? No. I wanted to say "Actually, I'm pretty sure it's because your son is sick and was sneezing on me the entire nine hour drive home!"

"And death is at your doorstep
And it will steal your innocence
But it will not steal your substance
But you are not alone in this"

“My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.” - Tina Fey