I have very curly 3c hair. I come from a Caribbean family where we're all varying shades; I have very dark-skinned first cousins who look completely black to first cousins who are blond.

My grandmother has five grandchildren and I got the curliest hair, all of my brothers and cousins have hair a bit looser than mine. It took me so long to get comfortable with my hair especially going to almost all white schools where kids took no issue with commenting on it.

So on top of all this one day my grandmother (who has extremely kinky, but relaxed hair which makes this whole incident all the more sad) is bragging about how all her grandkids have such nice loose curls and shiny hair. Then she points at me and goes, "The only one who didn't come out with nice hair was that one." With this completely disgusted look on her face and WHILE I'M IN HEARING DISTANCE.

She takes no issue with telling me to relax my hair and since my cousins and some of her grandkids have gotten the message it's ok they eventually joined in teasing me and calling me "mushroom head".

Of course whenever I straighten my hair temporarily everyone wants to ooh and aah and ask me why I don't do it that way all the time.

I'm so effing sick of it especially since I absolutely adore my hair curly and have gotten so many compliments from my white friends now they're older and more mature. And yet why is it that my black friends and family members practically have a heart attack over it?!