I have very curly 3c hair. I come from a Caribbean family where we're all varying shades; I have very dark-skinned first cousins who look completely black to first cousins who are blond.

My grandmother has five grandchildren and I got the curliest hair, all of my brothers and cousins have hair a bit looser than mine. It took me so long to get comfortable with my hair especially going to almost all white schools where kids took no issue with commenting on it.

So on top of all this one day my grandmother (who has extremely kinky, but relaxed hair which makes this whole incident all the more sad) is bragging about how all her grandkids have such nice loose curls and shiny hair. Then she points at me and goes, "The only one who didn't come out with nice hair was that one." With this completely disgusted look on her face and WHILE I'M IN HEARING DISTANCE.

She takes no issue with telling me to relax my hair and since my cousins and some of her grandkids have gotten the message it's ok they eventually joined in teasing me and calling me "mushroom head".

Of course whenever I straighten my hair temporarily everyone wants to ooh and aah and ask me why I don't do it that way all the time.

I'm so effing sick of it especially since I absolutely adore my hair curly and have gotten so many compliments from my white friends now they're older and more mature. And yet why is it that my black friends and family members practically have a heart attack over it?!
Originally Posted by freeasmyhair12

OMG, I completely understand where you're coming from. I come from a west indian background too and my grandma gave me my 1st perm when I was about 5 or 6. I was living with her at the time and she had to do my hair. She couldn't manage it at all because it's sooo thick and curly! She permed it because she claimed my hair was "hard" (I will NEVER forget that!!)

but to get back on topic, my grandma's hair was very curly (4a'ish curly caesar) she has 3 kids, my mom and my 2 uncles all have her curly hair. My 1st cousin (for one of my uncles) asked my mom when we went to visit recentl, how comes she didn't get her father's curly hair and how comes MY hair is curly (like my moms) and my other uncle's wife (they have 3 girls) said to my mom back in the day, " I really thought the girls would of had his complexion and have his hair" (she's also west indian and my uncle is light skin with curly hair)

People back home really have issues. If you're not light skin with "nice" hair then something is wrong with you. They don't even take the time to understand different types of textures. They PRAISE a light skin child or a child with "soft hair. It's so sickening to me! UGH!!