One day I wuold love to be one of those naturals who don't use gel, but only a good leave in and that's it. Or just a good leave in and curl cream and no gel. Taht's where I'd like to be some day. . . some day!!
You may want that but your hair might not LOL You can't make it do what it can't do or you'll have to live with some frizz, less defintion more poof-like hair without a gel to control it. Creams and LI's aren't really meant to hold looser waves like you have. You should give IA Girls Flax cream a shot that might actually work as an all in one product for you but it still requires a gel. AOMM isn't really a gel & it's heavy with oil isn't it??? I think I tried it at some point and hated it I also can't tolerate a lot of oils in my hair or I get weird spidery frizz. You still haven't tried a PT have you? LOL That could solve your problems too don't be afraid of it, adding moisture is easier than taking it away IMHO. The one time I did a PT for too long my hair was a little dry but then I just added extra conditioner the next day and VOILA back to normal. Have you tried coconut oil as a Pre-Poo it's amazing and one of the few oils that work for wavy types (and lots of other hair types too) it also helps to retain protein in your hair & it moisturizes too. Do a search on the 2's forum you'll find lots of wavies that have posted how they use it. It really seems your protein/moisture balance is way off.
2B waves/ fine-med texture/normal porosity( I think?) trying to figure out my protein needs

AOGPB, SS Caitlins, Garnier Body Boost Condish
CJ Daily Fix or KC Come Clean
CJ Curl Fix is true LOVE
Love all SS products
Donna Marie Miragelly & my own FSG
AG MousseGel