So, I had a fun exchange with my friend who got married in September. She's no longer my Crazy Bride Friend but my Crazy Newlywed Friend

(She needs a new doctor. Her husband is divorced. This conversation is verbatim.)

Friend: There's a doctor that is rated the BEST around here, but John's ex-wife used to go to her. That would be really awkward, wouldn't it?

Me: Huh? Why would it be awkward? She's a doctor!

Friend: But then she'll recognize my last name and be like, "Well, now I've seen ALL of John's conquests!" and compare us and think who is prettier or thinner.


Friend: Do you think doctors think of things like that?

Me: Okay. You know the episode of FRIENDS when Monica buys the really expensive, uncomfortable pair of boots and tells Chandler she can't wear them to his Christmas party because then everybody will judge her and think they pay him too much? And Chandler goes, "You know I don't work in a boot factory right?" That is kinda what you sound like.

Friend: Good reality check.