I'm sorry my comment was cut off - my app locked up. I'm even more sorry for your pain and suffering. I hope you are getting help to manage it as well as counseling.

My initial comprehension was that you and your mom had different views about suicide and that she was hypocritical because she attends church.
Originally Posted by Spider
That's how I understood it, but I don't know your mom or what your relationship with her is like. If you're suicidal and need immediate help, you need to go to a hospital. If you feel like you have it under control and aren't in immediate danger, you still need to see a doctor pronto. If you've been seeking treatment, you need to get more aggressive with it or get another opinion b/c you shouldn't be having those thoughts.

If your mother meant that in a malicious way, you should limit the time you spend around her. It sounds to me, at worst, she meant that if you do commit suicide, she believes that you won't be punished for it.