A good comb makes a lot of difference! I suggest you get a good wide-tooth comb which is intended for detangling curly hair. It should run about $5 or $10 at any drugstore or discount store. My daughter is 11 and has 3a/b hair which is mid-back length and becoming coarse. She is able to comb her own hair in the shower, when it is soaking wet and slathered in conditioner. (We use Suave Naturals). For non-shower days, we soak it with a spray bottle and work in a little bit of conditioner with our hands before combing. We don't use a brush ever!