You guys are so awesome.

I suck at losing weight, I just don't lose weight.

I don't know. I suck.

Change scares me and I think thats the biggest thing, what if I lose weight and I'm still miserable. What if I lose weight and everything is awesome. I don't like to not know. I know life won't really be that different but it scares me soooo much. I think because I day dream a lot so I have this like perfect world in my head, and if I lose weight and it's not perfect than I'll be really disappointed and I'd rather be stuck and safe in my bubble and day dream about my life than actually change it, and I don't know how to get out of this thinking? What???

But then like before I gained all this weight, I still didn't even like my legs, because they were all muscular and athletic and you could see every muscle I felt like, BUT LIKE now I WISH those were my legs.

I'm just one of those people that will never be satisfied. I'll never be happy. But then like some days I'm okay with my weight, I just accept it and it's just a part of me not the whole picture.. I'm just crazy. I'm in a hazy day dream all the time. I need to wake up.

Everything is mental, running that extra mile, losing weight, it's all in my brain for me.