Totally lost, nothing works :(

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I'm new here, so first of all let me say hello!

So my hair started to curl recently, just like that. I've always had straight hair so I'm entirely new to this. I'm digging the Internet in search of instruction on how to care for wavy hair but things there are supposed to be 'the only way' are giving me the worst possible results! I'm lost as to why. Currently my hair is 2a but the proces of curling is probably not over yet and I can see it 'wants' to be 2b and I want to help and encourage the curl.

Putting the leave in conditioner and gel on soaking wet hair after OMO washing was disastrous, air drying leaves it stringy as does wet combing with wide tooth comb. Diffuser gives me dry messy strings. I had the best results so far with going totally against all the CG method and other curly dos and don'ts. The thing is, although the hair looks better, maybe it's not as wavy as it could be with CG or proper 'curly' routine?

I don't know, I'm so lost and confused. I'd be very grateful for any help
Hi, and welcome to NC! What products are you using? And what is your routine? It's hard to say what's going wrong if we don't know you're doing. Also, what is OMO washing?
Hi, and welcome to NC! What products are you using? And what is your routine? It's hard to say what's going wrong if we don't know you're doing. Also, what is OMO washing?
Originally Posted by janiegirl
Thanks for replying. Sorry for the confusion - I meant conditioner-shampoo-conditioner washing but took the abbreviation for that from my native language by mistake.

So I wash my hair every day. First conditioner is protein Elvive Full Repair 5 or Lidl's blue conditioner (only one silicone and after perfume) then shampoo (non SLS or again Lidl's Volume one) and then Lidl conditioner again.

As for drying and styling I've tried different things. As I mentioned, air drying, diffuser, drying with normal hair dryer with concentrator nozzle up to 70-80% (which seems to be the best option so far). Also, wet combing with wide tooth comb leaves visible rows that are impossible to get rid of when hair is dry. Again, dry combing with normal comb works best. And that's another no-no for wavy/curly hair. Flax seed gel is very good but I've read about styling gels and mousses so I've bought a gel and put it in the soaking wet hair over a bit of my regular condish yesterday and today I have the worst hair so far. Scrunching also leaves me with the tiny stringy waves I hate. It's like no matter how I try to style my hair according to how curly hair should be styled, I only ever end up with the rows on my head and little stringy waves.

Last edited by SilverRea; 08-10-2017 at 07:51 AM.
Applying products to soaking wet hair never really worked for me. Before you spend money on more products, try squeezing some water out with a t-shirt and then add the styling products. I also find a vented brush does better for me than the wide-tooth comb.

Next experiment I'd try is leaving off the first round of conditioner. Wavy hair may be too weighed down by that, and you may find that you don't need it.

If it helps, I shampoo and condition, then shake my head like a dog before getting out of the shower. I rub a dime-sized blob of leave-in detangler into my hair and then use the vented brush. Then I squeeze and scrunch out the excess water and let it "rest" while applying makeup. Then my last step is to lightly rake and scrunch in a nickel-sized blob of gel or small squirt of foam.

It has been over a year of trying different products and techniques to find that this works best for me. I wish you luck in your journey!
2c, coarse, low elasticity, medium/high density
Varied porosity, protein- and coconut-sensitive
Summer Regimen:
CJ Daily Fix and Smoothing Conditioner
CJ Beauticurls (and on days when I want more polish or definition) CJ Pattern Pusha
Monthly refresh with SM African Water Mint poo and Sally's GVPCB, mixed with sunflower and olive oils for a DC
Applying products to soaking wet hair never really worked for me. Before you spend money on more products, try squeezing some water out with a t-shirt and then add the styling products. I also find a vented brush does better for me than the wide-tooth comb.

Next experiment I'd try is leaving off the first round of conditioner. Wavy hair may be too weighed down by that, and you may find that you don't need it.

If it helps, I shampoo and condition, then shake my head like a dog before getting out of the shower. I rub a dime-sized blob of leave-in detangler into my hair and then use the vented brush. Then I squeeze and scrunch out the excess water and let it "rest" while applying makeup. Then my last step is to lightly rake and scrunch in a nickel-sized blob of gel or small squirt of foam.

It has been over a year of trying different products and techniques to find that this works best for me. I wish you luck in your journey!
Originally Posted by RafterBat
Tanks for the reply. What do you mean by first round of conditioner? The one before shampoo?
Also, the problem is, if I put anything in my hair while it's wet, it dries into stringy, thin pieces. I'm trying to find a way to clump those tiny waves together to form bigger waves.

And I can't really leave it alone to air dry, it takes over 3 hours:/

Ah, and today I've pinned my front hair to the sides and when I took the pins out I noticed the curl is more defined on those parts that were pinned. I wonder how to use that knowledge for styling...

Last edited by SilverRea; 08-11-2017 at 07:33 AM.
Here's my suggestions. Get a silicone-free conditioner. Once you have that, then use a shampoo WITH sulphates - just once. That will get rid of any silicones and other stuff that's built up in your hair. Then use your silicone-free conditioner, and every wash day after that, use the sulphate-free shampoo and silicone-free conditioner.

Stop doing conditioner before shampooing. Use a wide tooth comb or vented brush while your hair is full of conditioner. Or if your hair is holding the comb marks, don't. I don't use a comb or brush anymore - I just finger comb. After combing, start squishing and scrunching your hair. Add a bit of water and continue scunching. Then add more water and scrunch some more. Keep going, adding water and scrunching for a good long while. Your hair should end up feeling and looking like thick wet egg noodles, not like tangly ramen noodles.

All that water and scrunching probably took most of the conditioner out of your hair, so no need to rinse any more. Now add your gel. You might want to experiment with how wet your hair is before the gel, like Rafterbat suggests. Maybe squeeze out the water with your hands first, then add gel. Or use a t-shirt to squeeze out some water fist, then gel.

Don't use a bath towel! Use an old t-shirt or a microfibre towel. Don't rub your hair - just squish and scrunch. At this point, you should be able to see some nice fat clumps of curls. From the time you finish applying your gel, no touching with your hands!

Give any or all of those suggestions a try. And don't give up - it takes a while to figure it all out!
Here's my suggestions. Get a silicone-free conditioner. Once you have that, then use a shampoo WITH sulphates - just once. That will get rid of any silicones and other stuff that's built up in your hair. Then use your silicone-free conditioner, and every wash day after that, use the sulphate-free shampoo and silicone-free conditioner.

Stop doing conditioner before shampooing. Use a wide tooth comb or vented brush while your hair is full of conditioner. Or if your hair is holding the comb marks, don't. I don't use a comb or brush anymore - I just finger comb. After combing, start squishing and scrunching your hair. Add a bit of water and continue scunching. Then add more water and scrunch some more. Keep going, adding water and scrunching for a good long while. Your hair should end up feeling and looking like thick wet egg noodles, not like tangly ramen noodles.

All that water and scrunching probably took most of the conditioner out of your hair, so no need to rinse any more. Now add your gel. You might want to experiment with how wet your hair is before the gel, like Rafterbat suggests. Maybe squeeze out the water with your hands first, then add gel. Or use a t-shirt to squeeze out some water fist, then gel.

Don't use a bath towel! Use an old t-shirt or a microfibre towel. Don't rub your hair - just squish and scrunch. At this point, you should be able to see some nice fat clumps of curls. From the time you finish applying your gel, no touching with your hands!

Give any or all of those suggestions a try. And don't give up - it takes a while to figure it all out!
Originally Posted by janiegirl
Thank you janiegirl! I shall do that. How should I proceed in terms of drying?

Also would you be so kind to have a look at my conditioner's ingredients list as I'm not sure if it has silicones in it or not?



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Last edited by SilverRea; 08-11-2017 at 08:04 AM.
Tanks for the reply. What do you mean by first round of conditioner? The one before shampoo?
Also, the problem is, if I put anything in my hair while it's wet, it dries into stringy, thin pieces. I'm trying to find a way to clump those tiny waves together to form bigger waves.

And I can't really leave it alone to air dry, it takes over 3 hours:/

Ah, and today I've pinned my front hair to the sides and when I took the pins out I noticed the curl is more defined on those parts that were pinned. I wonder how to use that knowledge for styling...
Originally Posted by SilverRea
Yes, before shampooing. And I sometimes blow-dry my hair with a diffuser if I need to. That's when I use foam instead of gel. But my hair is not very wet when I add the gel or foam. Maybe also try using less of the styling product - if my hair gets stringy it's usually because I have too much stuff in it.

Hmmmm about the pins. I often pull the "bangs" part of my hair to the side and clip it to keep it from falling into my eyes, and it's true that the curls form better as well. I wonder if it's because I touch it less, or if there is something else happening. Will have to think about that!!!
2c, coarse, low elasticity, medium/high density
Varied porosity, protein- and coconut-sensitive
Summer Regimen:
CJ Daily Fix and Smoothing Conditioner
CJ Beauticurls (and on days when I want more polish or definition) CJ Pattern Pusha
Monthly refresh with SM African Water Mint poo and Sally's GVPCB, mixed with sunflower and olive oils for a DC
have you read "the curly girl" by lorraine massey? it is the best first intro to curly hair. you can get it on amazon, etc. get the 2009 edition.

then, have you read the threads on nc on the newbie forum? lots of great tips.

it's easier for us to offer refinements once you get the general idea.
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3a, some 2c & 3b, medium texture, porosity normal, low elasticity
washing/cowashing, conditioning, protein tx: [I] curl junkie products
leave in:cj conditioners and treatments as leave in
styling: cj aloe fix gel, cj pattern pusha, cj honey butta leave in, cj cccc, cj ciab.
sealants - jane carter nourish & shine
Here is a link to a list of silicones

Science-y Hair Blog: Silicone Ingredient Solubility List
2b, 2c,
High Porosity - Very Fine Hair

Low Poo: Living Proof Restore Shampoo
Rinse Out: Living Proof Restore Conditioner
Leave In: Living Proof Curl Leave-In
Treatments: Restore Repair Leave-In, Colorful Neutral Protein Filler, Sunflower Oil Pre-poo
Styling: Living Proof Curl Defining Styling Cream and/or Living Proof Curl Enhancing Styling Mousse
WavyKfromNJ gave a list for all silicones, but your conditioner has the silicone cyclopentasiloxane is the third ingredient and the silicone dimethiconol is towards the end. Another possibility since you've been using sulfate free shampoo and a silicone filled conditioner is that you have build up. Try a sulfate clarifying shampoo once as Janiegirl suggested. Best of luck!
Thank you everyone! My hair has always hated the non silicone conditioners. Also, it's been bleached and I know bleached hair loves and needs silicons to protect it. So I'm a bit worried about switching to a no-silicone care.
I'm not exactly an expert when it comes to ingredients, but I'll give this a shot. Cyclopentasiloxane - 3rd ingredient, so there's lots of this in there. It's a silicone. Some say this is an ok silicone to use. I don't know about that - I avoid all silicones to be safe.

Down towards the bottom is Dimethiconol, another silicone.

Glycerin, Panthenol - neither are bad, but some people may have issues with them. Glycerin could make your hair frizzy during high humidity, panthenol is a type of protein. If you don't know if you need to avoid them, then you can probably just ignore it. It's fine for now.

I see several different alcohols. Some are moisturizing and they're ok to use, but some are drying. I know that isopropyl alcohol is drying. That's the kind of alcohol you use to clean wounds - you might have some in your bathroom cabinet. Very drying. I'm not sure about the other alcohols.
I'm not exactly an expert when it comes to ingredients, but I'll give this a shot. Cyclopentasiloxane - 3rd ingredient, so there's lots of this in there. It's a silicone. Some say this is an ok silicone to use. I don't know about that - I avoid all silicones to be safe.

Down towards the bottom is Dimethiconol, another silicone.

Glycerin, Panthenol - neither are bad, but some people may have issues with them. Glycerin could make your hair frizzy during high humidity, panthenol is a type of protein. If you don't know if you need to avoid them, then you can probably just ignore it. It's fine for now.

I see several different alcohols. Some are moisturizing and they're ok to use, but some are drying. I know that isopropyl alcohol is drying. That's the kind of alcohol you use to clean wounds - you might have some in your bathroom cabinet. Very drying. I'm not sure about the other alcohols.
Originally Posted by janiegirl
Thank you And I thought I knew this and that about ingredients lists... Could you recommend one good conditioner from your own experience to start with, please?
Hi SilverRea, in regards of silicone for bleached hair. I have platinum blonde hair which means my hair is bleached. Silicones aren't necessary for bleached hair. You may be thinking of the protection or anti frizz factor that silicones can give. From my personal experience, my hair tends to break more when I use silicones. For bleached hair, you need moisture, and silicones seal off moisture (great for humidity not so great for hydration). Your hair may be suffering from all the silicone buildup.
Hi SilverRea, in regards of silicone for bleached hair. I have platinum blonde hair which means my hair is bleached. Silicones aren't necessary for bleached hair. You may be thinking of the protection or anti frizz factor that silicones can give. From my personal experience, my hair tends to break more when I use silicones. For bleached hair, you need moisture, and silicones seal off moisture (great for humidity not so great for hydration). Your hair may be suffering from all the silicone buildup.
Originally Posted by BrittanyM
Thanks BrittanyM, that's very helpful I'm thinking of oils instead. I'd like to try coconut oil, but I think it's for the low porosity hair, it may frizz me like crazy...
If you want to do an oil treatment, starting with coconut oil is fine to try and see, it isn't just a low-po hair. But to help decide if you want a penetrating or coating oil, the Sciency Hair Blog has an article about it. It also has an article about how to do a pre-wash oil treatment.
BrittanyM likes this.
Summer: Alaffia Coffee & Shea Revitalizing - Citrus Mint Shampoo and Conditioner
Winter: Alaffia Coconut & Shea Daily Hydrating - Lavender Coconut Shampoo and Conditioner

Fine, 2c, low porosity hair that I color using the 2-step henndigo with amla

Looking for styling products and tools

iHerb Code KQS149 for 5% off your order
If you want to do an oil treatment, starting with coconut oil is fine to try and see, it isn't just a low-po hair. But to help decide if you want a penetrating or coating oil, the Sciency Hair Blog has an article about it. It also has an article about how to do a pre-wash oil treatment.
Originally Posted by bomega
Thanks, I've been oiling it with avocado oil, pumpkin seed oil and linen seed oil. Only avocado gave me good results but it stopped working after a month :/ I ordered Yes to Coconuts to try and see.

However, I've spent the whole day on a research for SLS free shampoo that woudn't leave me broke only to end up buying one with Sodium Coco Sulfate and now I'm panicking because it turns out it's basically the samse as SLS and therefore it's not CG

All the really natural shampoos are either horribly expensive or have protein in it. Or both.

What now? Will my hair curl at all?
I'm confused by your statement that you ordered Yes to Coconuts to do an oil treatment? You can do a coconut oil treatment with regular coconut oil from the grocery aisle. As a side note, many people find Olive Oil to give them better results, so that might be worth a try too.

Can you get Giovanni where you live? Their shampoos are SLS free, and they have long reputation of excellence in the natural products industry (they were doing it before it was cool .)
Summer: Alaffia Coffee & Shea Revitalizing - Citrus Mint Shampoo and Conditioner
Winter: Alaffia Coconut & Shea Daily Hydrating - Lavender Coconut Shampoo and Conditioner

Fine, 2c, low porosity hair that I color using the 2-step henndigo with amla

Looking for styling products and tools

iHerb Code KQS149 for 5% off your order
I'm confused by your statement that you ordered Yes to Coconuts to do an oil treatment? You can do a coconut oil treatment with regular coconut oil from the grocery aisle. As a side note, many people find Olive Oil to give them better results, so that might be worth a try too.

Can you get Giovanni where you live? Their shampoos are SLS free, and they have long reputation of excellence in the natural products industry (they were doing it before it was cool .)
Originally Posted by bomega
Ah nooo, I've ordered Yes to Coconuts because I need a nourishing silicone free conditioner and I'm planning to use it as such. I,m just wondering: are silicones straightening the hair and that's why they're bad for curls?

Yes, I can get Giovanni at one store chain but it's not the cheapest so I'll have to wait until I have some more money. Thank you for the recommendation though

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