I don't have kids, or type 4 hair, but I do follow the Chocolate Hair Vanilla Care blog. It's written by a Caucasian mama who has adopted an African-American child. Their products and routines over the years are all there, as are styling how to videos and just general lifestyle posts. I've even learned a few things I can apply to my own routine. You might have a look there for anything you can incorporate.
CG since 11/2011
2c /3a F /Mii, low porosity

Go To Products /Routine:
Clarifying: Suave Essentials Strawberry
Low Poo: Renpure Luxurious Argan Oil
CO: Suave Essentials Strawberry, V05 Kiwi Lime
RO /LI: Tresemme Perfectly (un)Done, Cure Care, V05 Kiwi Lime Squeeze, Suave Essentials Strawberry, Renpure Brazilian Keratin (old formula)
Stylers: LALSG, AIF, HETT, Suave Professionals Firm Control
PT: IAGirl's as needed