We're identical hair twins. My hair is also fine (but dense), a mix of waves and curls, and also hates polyquats, cones, and a lot of stuff in general. As far as conditioners go there are quite a few that I really like: Biolage Conditioning Balm, Terax Crema, Darcy's Botanicals Pumpkinseed, and Jessicurl Too Shea. The latter of the two are heavier, but still cone/polyquats free. The first two are also protein free. As for jellies, I really like FSG, specifically jessicurl RR.
high porosity (from coloring)

Shampoo: Mop Top Gentle Shampoo
Co-wash: Chistophe Robin Lemon Cleansing Cream
RO: CJ strengthening, Kenra moisturizing
LI: Jessicurl Aloeba
DT: CJ rehab, Christophe Robin Prickly Pear Mask
PT: SS protein treatment, Ouidad 12 minute
Stylers: Jessicurl RR, SS Firm Hold Gel
Oils: caudalie, sweet almond