The girl with the 4a needs to be washed once a week or could be stretched to a week and a half. Try using pure coconut oil because it will give a really good slip on her hair, you can do cute pig minnie pig tails, or bantu knots as soon as you finished detangle per section. Your using the right products but dont overlod the products into her hair, she is too young to have all of that. I totally agree with the other post also, use sheamoisture curl enhancing smoothie as a detangler but dont use it often, and then seal it with coconut oil if you want to. let me know if you need help still.