I had this whole post typed out talking about everything but then my computer lost power and killed everything. Not just my reply here, but all of the useful internet windows I had open as well as the multiple Word documents I had up and have been entering things into as I go about my business. Yay.

Previous post in a nutshell:

Saria could probably be my spokesperson because I keep agreeing with everything she says (exception: things I know nothing about). Related: My esophagus only dares defy me because it knows I can't be sending my own organs to the mines to lie there uselessly collecting rock dust - the fiend is taking advantage! And I stay mad at science for inventing city-killing bombs nearly a century ago and still not getting on the lack of teleportation issue.

Comic writers can be complete asshats and so can the rest of the media for all their constant depictions of this ridiculous woman-berates-man-for-holding-open-door scenario that they claim is common despite making no sense whatsoever in a real life context. At least anywhere I've lived, everyone regardless of gender holds the door open for the next person or they have committed a noticeable social transgression. GTFOH with your societal niceguyism.

My dad can also be an asshat, including about politics (and we share a party, BTW). I can't even retype all of that right now, especially since it's technically his birthday already.

I continue to have no effing clue what it's supposed to mean to "take advantage" of time you have with someone before they die. In the context of someone you have ever had frequent and/or extended interactions with, yes. In this one, no. I have no clue what to do, no trite little "just enjoy his company" is going to make even a lick of sense considering the silence feedback loop we work ourselves into, and I just don't see how my awkward physical presence is helping anyone in any way. Plus he's always been so impressed by my intelligence and says he's not on my level but I disagree, he SO is, and I keep feeling like I should say something smart but I don't know WTF I keep doing for people to call me smart in the first place so I don't know how to say something smart, and I'm not doing anything awesome and I won't be changing the world soon enough for him to see it so am I not living up to his high opinion of me? It's not fair. It makes me so upset and I can't do anything about it.

The one that makes me cry is the one my brain decided it could and would get into again. Nice. That's not even a cathartic one, brain. Why are you so mean to me?

...It's a siggie.