Dear Auntie:

We are officially not EVER going anywhere together until you come off the mistaken impression that your Maybelline FitMe color is 320 Soft Beige. I am also never ever going to address the topic with you again, no matter how many people suggest that I do so. You will also no longer get my makeup mishaps - Lord knows what the heck you do with them anyway (OK, yes, you do use the CoverGirl Queen Matte Pressed Powder, but that's all). I love you but I cannot get with the whole dead, powdered ghost look that you insist on having. I blame you for your daughter's lack of beauty knowledge - as if she could come to you for help. Maybe you got it mixed up (because you are shade 350, NOT 320) but when you saw the pasty mess on your skin you should have known it was a mistake. I could see your face a-glowing from the front stoop last time I came to visit. When you are ready, you know where to come for help - I will not be leading any interventions.

Your Proudly NC50/FitME355/MUFE 44Coffee-Skinned Niece

I needed to get that out y'all. That is all.
Team Wash and Go!