I second everything everyone has said in this post. I had short curly hair a few summers ago and I LOVED it. Curlies can definitely go short. I recommend using the "Salons" feature up there to find a good curly stylist. It makes a huge difference. I think shoulder length or a little past chin would be good for you. Either way I think some of your ends look damaged, like you said, so a haircut is the way to go.

To cut down on volume you want to increase clumping. I think there are a couple threads floating around on here about that, but what is your hair routine like when you style your hair? I find that not combing my hair after the last rinse in the shower is super important to help the curls clump together. Then I smooth my product on in sections. It's different for everyone of course though.

Also, are you doing moisturizing or protein treatments on your hair? The first will help moisturize, and maybe tone down the volume a little, and the second is essential for damaged hair.

Good luck. def post pics if you cut it!

3a/b low to normal porosity curls
CG method since 2006 @:-)
CO wash: suave naturals coconut
rinse out CO: GVP conditioning balm
stylers: KCNT, CK, jessicurl spiralicious
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Blog: Curls and Blossoms