I use the moisturising conditioner (Tresemme) and really like it, I'd say it was as near to an hg as I've got.
I've used Alchemy in the past too, that fmashur mentioned, and they're nice products, except for the leave-in co which is dreadful!
Sorry to hear work's got so bad for you, I can totally relate, more's the pity.
We brought our dog out with us when we emigrated and it cost a small fortune so take deep breaths before you read your quote (He was a German Shepherd though so a bit bigger than Ed!).
3b in South Australia.