My first 3 loves started out as friends whom I had no attraction or interest in until their continuous pursuit wore me down. I always felt sure of their love, confident that they wouldn't leave me, and I knew how they felt BC they made it clear from the beginning.

My current man was love at first sight. We met while we were involved with other people and I was completely head over heels for him, but he was involved and so I let it go. The day he revealed he felt the same, I was beside myself. He wanted to run away together, but he was involved with a family member of mine and I was afraid of the backlash.

I wrote journals about him, I lost many nights of sleep over him. I was in love with him and he wasn't even mine. He assumed that I wasn't interested BC I didnt pursue anything after he revealed his feelings. We lost touch.

I never stopped thinking about him.
I looked for him everywhere. I remember Googling his name when I was about to get married.

Fast forward 10 years. I had 2 kids and my marriage had fallen apart. I ran into him again. We went out for drinks and I convinced myself I'd moved past him. I had not. Nor had he.

When we started seeing eachother I was amazed at how calm and sure I felt with him around. When I looked in his eyes my mind cleared. I felt like I couldn't breathe when he wasn't near me. We had both come out of unhappy relationships and didn't want to get involved. We tried to keep our distance but we couldn't stay apart. We were like magnets. I would stare at him all the time. We couldn't sleep when we were apart. His skin smells good.I never wanted him to wear cologne.

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