Went to the coffee shop on campus (which I always frequent) with my crush today. The cashier looks at us and goes, "you too look alike." His response to which was, "she's my sister." The cashier goes, " no, she's not. It's more than that." Earth, swallow me now.

I interject at this point that "it's not." She asks why, and again, I say, "just because it's not."

She responded that she would pray on it. If only I believed.

This wasabi rice crackers are burning my mouth.

Where's Turtles?
I ain't thirsty. There's plenty of fish in the sea, but I don't want all of them, can I have some standards? Or do we just have to settle, for someone's who meh and will do.