I'm an atheist. I don't have a tree (yet), but I plan to as soon as I have my own space, so ornaments are fine, as are Christmas cards.

Lard, what have I done?!
I ain't thirsty. There's plenty of fish in the sea, but I don't want all of them, can I have some standards? Or do we just have to settle, for someone's who meh and will do.