Wavy, no one is telling you not to love your dad. The concerns are as follows: that pleasing and placating are behaviors that wind women up in one abusive relationship after another. I know this sounds like a stretch to you, but I see teens as well as adult women who are in relationships with controlling men, and they dont know how it happened. Well, it happens a little at at time. My dad had a temper, and I learned to "work around him"; and I put up with bad behavior in men for most of my life until I realized that I had had early childhood conditioning to accept, justify, deny, and minimize behaviors that I should not have. Good luck, Sweetie, keep us posted. We are glad you love your curls!