Have you tried applying the oil before doing your conditioner?

I could never use oil either, I had the same results as you. Then curlypearl posted about applying it differently. It has made all the difference in the world.
  • You apply oil.
  • Rinse pretty well.
  • Apply conditioner.
  • Rinse well.

My hair feels a little heavier on the final rinse. The end result is it distributes the oil really evenly and lightly. Works really well for me.

I had serious dryness and flyaways. My grays were all crazy and sticking out at weird angles. This resolved all of that.

The type of oil is important too. I, for one, cannot use coconut oil at all. But my hair loves jojoba oil.