I'm like you, leave ins just don't work for me. Too heavy.
I tried a brand called "curls" the product is curl curlada and my hair is pretty good today. I just try to use very very little amounts and I don't put it on the top layer/canopy section.
Before that I was using tresseme as my cowash and I would put that in a thin layer after my RO.
Rae ~ 2c/3a ~
Wife to a 3c Curly Guy
Mom to a straight and a curly.

"The Longer the Hair, the Bigger the Blob."

Porous, very dense but fine hair. Medium everything else.
CoWash: Tressemee naturals
RO: Generic biolage and generic joico k-pak
LI: Tresemee
Miss Jessie's Pillow soft curls, diffuse 50%, add KCCC and diffuse to 80%.
Always wash upside down.