Thanks for all these replies. I worry that with fine fine hair (I've got lots of it, but the strands are crazy fine) the flat iron may just toast it. I like the idea of washing at night -- though there's still the problem of it being cold in the house! Maybe I can try diffusing again. My hair tends to get big (not in the good way) fast, but I can try to be more careful than in the past . . . Thanks for your input!
3b, fine, medium density, normal porosity
Wash: Deva No Poo, sometime Phytojoba, Avalon lemon when needs clarifying
Rinse-out: Deva One Condition, CJ Beauticurls Strengthening, Phytojoba (kinda heavy for my hair but good noisture)
Leave-in: Phytokeratine, CCCCL
Styling: Deva Coconut Supercream or their Wave Maker with a little CS over the top