Stef, after lots of trials and errors, this is my routine now for my 4a hair (mid neck length) if stretched. Maybe u can use a similar routine.
-I only use fingers to detangle and style hair.
-Co-wash 2 times a week - Sat and Wed or (sometimes I wash the night before and sleep with deep conditioner)
I use Trader Joe Tea Tree Tingle Conditioner or Vo5 Moisture milk Conditioner (passion fruit)
-Every 2 weeks or so I may use a shampoo like Shea Moisture something retention shampoo but I have recently switched to using 4tbsp avg plus 2 tbs each apple cider vinegar and honey
-I deep condition once or twice per week and use Shea Moisture curl enhancing smoothie (sucks as a styler but excels as a DC)
-I use 3 tbsp avg mixed with 1 tbsp jojoba oil and 1 tbsp glycerin to stylehair (soaking wet). The glycerin is optional but it totally removes (which I like) the it of crunch/hold that avg leaves on hair. Unlike others, I hate crunchy (no matter how minimal) hold. My hair loves glycerin and I use it all year, winter and summer, humid and dry. I never have a problem.
-To refresh I use a spray bottle with water and spray my hair enough for me to be able to shake curls. Don't touch. Just let water sit on hair for 1 minute or so and then shake curls. Ur curls will pop up and revive.