Your hair sounds and looks similar to mine! I'm very fine and dense, with different porosities throughout, and a mixture of 2b through 3a waves.

Another vote for Suave Naturals Tropical Coconut as a co-wash.

Lately I've been using Alba Botanica Coconut Milk conditioner as a daily conditioner, deep conditioner (left in under a plastic cap and towel for an hour) and occasional leave-in. It seems to work well for all of these purposes.

My hair also does well with a once-a-week sulfate wash (otherwise it starts to look very dull), and the one I'm using right now is Cynthia Sylvia Stout from Lush. For some reason this shampoo doesn't give me the "fuzzy" texture I get from most shampoos. I dilute about a capful in a 3 oz squeeze-bottle of water, then apply directly to my roots and massage in. Shampoo day is also PT/DT day for me.