I'll second joseybird's As I Am cowash recommendation. It's great stuff. As far as conditioners go, have you tried any of the Aubrey line? I've found their Honeysuckle Rose to be a great rinse-out condish, and if your hair like protein, their GBP is awesome as well. For a leave-in, I like the Giovanni line.
Medium/coarse, low porosity, dense, mix of 3s
CG (again) since Nov. 2012

Cleanse: SM Moisture Retention, Elucence MBC, KC Come Clean
Condish: Giovanni DL, Cure Care, Ion Treatment, GVP Balm, AOHR
Stylers: KCCC, SM Souffle, AOMM, SS CEJ, JCRR, JCCC

Trying out steaming!