These are all conversations I have had with my dad within the pass few months. they are all true and i have witnesses.

conversation 1 with my dad

dad: (as he comes into house after work) have you send my lottery ticket. I cant't fiond it and I just bought it.
me: (without looking up from whatever I'm doin) like just bought as in, right before you came home tonight and this is the first i have seen you today and i should have no idea where it is?
dad: yeah
me: check your pocket
dad: it's not there!
me:check the other pocket
dad: its not there! why would it... oh i found it. thanks!

Conversation #2

dad: (dad looking for something)
me:what are you looking for?
dad: my phone
me: check upstairs
dad:its not there.
me: (call his phone, phone rings)
dad: (runs upstairs to get phone) I found it!! hey when did you call me.

conversation 3

dad:which way do i go. i dont know this area?
me: left
dad: thats not right.
me: left
dad: no i think right. if i go left it will be in the wrong direction. (turns right. after 20 mins. realize he went in the wrong direction.) i think we lost. I hate living here! I'm moving back to baltimore!
me: good luck!