I didn't want to hyphenate, so when I married the first time, I kept my maiden name as my middle name and changed my last name. Then, yep divorce. I didn't change it back. It wasn't just his name; it was mine now and my daughter's. When I remarried, we became a blended family and I wanted the same names as ALL my children, so I made my first married last name into my middle name and took hubby #2's last name as my last name. It's unconventional, but it works and I am very happy with it.

My husband and I have a son together and he has my husband's last name but my father's name as his first name, so I haven't totally abandoned my heritage.

I think you need to do what will make you happy. And whoever said you don't have to legally change your name to your husband's in order to use it. This is correct. You will just "be" Mrs. His-Last-Name even if all your documents have your legal name as something else.