Wow I can tell you have really lovely curl potential, but I think the hair dyeing and flat ironing have really damaged the cuticle of your hair quite a the point that the cuticle won't stay closed as it dries, thus the frizz and lack of curl definition.

I second the suggestion of protein treatments for the short-term, as well as being diligent to not use too much heat, sulfates, cones or alcohol in any of your products....really baby it! For a long-term fix, maybe consider getting a hefty cut and then toughing it out a bit to grow out new, healthy hair. I can't help but wonder if you might actually have even curlier hair than you realize once new hair has grown in. I think it will be really pretty!