I think that it really is trial and error. To avoid overspending on products that end up under the bathroom sink, perhaps start off with a good, sulfate free shampoo, and a good conditioner (silicone free). Don't forget to clarify your hair before dropping silicones, to avoid weird build up.
With the conditioner, you can add water to some, in a spray bottle, and spritz your hair if it has dried too quickly.
You can also leave some in, when you condition your hair in the shower.
Some people have luck with scrunching their hair while it is drying, or encouraging curls by carefully twirling damp hair around their finger.
Definitely getting away from drying products will help!
My daughters' hair is less curly than mine and I need to wash it more often, and leave less conditioner in as well.
I have discovered that there is such a thing as too much product (my hair is short and not damaged), and my hair will feel very dirty to the touch (and the curls will look weighed down), but it really depends on why your hair needs at any given time.
Growing out a pixie (last big cut July 2012)
3a? 3b? Fine, dense. Porous.
Finally sulfate free. Avoiding silicones.