I have three biracial daughters and I was constantly encouraged to perm their hair by their father's family... So I did. I have since learned better and they are all natural, however, when they were relaxed I still had to take a straighten iron to it because it always ended up having an weird wave pattern. I complete understand the unsupportive family. My mother as well as their dads family think I am crazy for not relaxing their hair. I don't have much support from either side, but I know what is best for my kids, so their opinions don't matter much to me.
Originally Posted by brimom19
Yep, the curl-bashing thing is ubiquitous, at least in the US. If all those relatives told me I was “crazy” for not straightening my kid's hair, I'd tell them - even if I didn't mean it - that I don't care for their hair, and they are crazy for not curling it. I would say it just to try and make them engage their brains.

My mother is another issue, she has always tried to be "in my business". But as I said her opinion doesn't matter, but it doesn't stop her from stating it.
Originally Posted by brimom19
Not sure this has happened yet, but her opinion does matter the moment your kids overhear it, or the moment those comments are aimed at them. It's abusive IMO. If it were me I'd make it plain to her that if she says anything in the presence of my kids about their natural texture being unacceptable, she will be immediately invited out of my house, or if we're somewhere else, I will take the kids and leave. She doesn't have to get your logic. If she's less married to repeating her upsetting comments than to seeing you and the kids, she'll get the point and stop. And you might even earn a little more respect by putting your foot down.

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