Sounds like you are better off without that utter waste of space, thank your lucky stars you found out now he was shallow and superficial than when you were married and pregnant. Leaves a nice space by your side for the loving and loyal guy you deserve.

Hair is dead so it cannot ever be repaired: relaxing, dreadlocks, baking soda and table salt are all highly damaging to hair especially in combination, unfortunately it may be that your ends and even lengths cannot be salvaged and need cutting off. Coconut oil is about reducing porosity with regular use, the Curly Girl method is about healthier hair not instant gratification as with commercial haircare products.

Choose your ingredients and products based on your hair properties, Cantu leave in is not a true conditioner, it doesn't contain much in the way of fatty alcohols or cationic surfactants. Ingredients beneficial to damaged or porous hair include hydrolysed protein, coconut oil, ceramides and panthenol.
2a-2c, medium texture, porous/ colour treated. Three years CG. Past bra strap length heading for waist.

CO-wash: Inecto coconut/ Elvive Volume Collagen
Treatments: Komaza Care Matani, coconut/ sweet almond/ fractionated coconut oils, Hairveda Sitrinillah
Leave in: Fructis Sleek & Shine (old), Gliss Ultimate Volume, various Elvive
Styler: Umberto Giannini jelly, Au Naturale styling gelee
Flour sack towel, pixie diffuse or air dry.
Experimenting with: benign neglect