Theres a thin line between ho much moisture and protein you hair needs. It will break if it doesn't have enough of either. If you have been using a lot of butters maybe you could wash them out with a non sulfate shampoo. If it were me id use a 50/50 apple cider vinegar water mix to clarify. Clarifying will get all of the goop off you hair. Then use a protein treatment like recommended above, or spiral solutions protein treatment, or shea mosture anti breakage mask, or even Aubrey organics GBP conditioner, which is lightweight. Then use a moisturizing conditioner, not a butter like Deva curl heaven in hair or spiral solutions deeply decadent (it does not detangle. It is a moisturizing conditioner) or some other water based moisturizing conditioner. After that you can use your butters like bee mine or as i am. I would pre poo with coconut oil after this n a regular basis, and clarify with the vinegar mix once a month. If your hair was hard after the protein and the moisturizing conditioner you either needed a different conditioner or another treatment.
Is hard when you start out. On youtube heyfranhey has some excellent tutorials. You may not want to use the same products but you can se the came kind of products and follow her steps. I found the information a tremendous help and I've been natural for years. However i cut off all of my hair one year ago for a do-over and i am retaining more length and have more hair now then after years of being natural. I found that using products that are more natural, keeping on to of moisturizing, and protective styling will help you keep,your hair on your head.
Also check out the natural haven blog if you haven't already, and product reviews from denimpixie. They're both about the science. And grow it by chicara)??