I don't think being divorced twice makes you a loser at all. It's no different than any other long term relationship. I felt like loser after my last breakup a few years ago thinking I just can't do the relationship thing. Then a year later I felt totally different when I met my bf/recent ex.

I can relate to how you're feeling. I broke up a month ago and went on a trip with my friend. I thought about him the whole time and didn't have a good time and I hate that. It's been 4 weekends, I've tried to keep busy but it didn't work. I did things I like to do, I hung out with coworkers, friends, etc. Last weekend and the weekend before my trip I just slept or was on my couch. I felt pathetic. I lost my appetite too and didn't clean at all. I finally had to clean since my friend was coming over for our trip.

The thing is, if you know you he's wrong for you and it would never work, it will get better. If you think you can make things work, then I don't have any advice. I'm going through that myself but I'm being careful. I'm breaking all my rules but I'm risking it for now.