Still Have Same Complaint

After all these years of cg I still have the same complaint. My hair only looks good curly when its wet. It stays wet all day long. I've tried everyone's suggestions. Diffusers, twist outs, pineappleing, tshirt scrunching, waiting two hrs in the morning, day two hair, braids, less product, none of it works at all. I always have wet hair or frizzy pouffy dreadlock looking hair. I dont like either. Both make me feel ugly.
You don't list you're hair properties, so it's hard to help.

Have you tried staying away from chemicals?? especially polyquats. I wondered why my hair always had frizz when I used gel. Finally discovered that it was the polyquats, especially 4 and 10. Then I used a shampoo that had polyquat 7--ran into issues there. Was told it couldn't possibly be build up (hair was frizzy even when wet.) However, it took a sulfate wash to get rid of it (coco b didn't do it.)
3a (Corkicelli), highlighted, fine, low porosity

HGs: Anything Sevi; Curly Kinks Satin Roots, Curlycue ReNew and Coil Jam; homemade FSG and okra gel; soap bars; UFD Curly Magic; Botanical Spirits Jellies, CJ Repair Me, Aloe Fix
My hair is 3b, dry, long(in between my scapulas), low porosity, and thick.

I don't like pineappling:
because it increases my spring factor way too much making me look like a little boy with an afro(not my style).

I don't like diffusing:
Because it takes forever to do everyday and it increases my hair's volume(not my style) and causes it to be frizzy even with shutting it off as I move to the next section and leaving it on a low setting.

Scrunching with hands and T-shirt everyday keep my hair long, a lot less voluminous, and less frizzy but that's because this allows my hair to remain wet all day. I do not like having wet hair. Everyday at work my blouse and coat are soaked. Even my bra and then I'm shivering all day.

Second Day Hair and on:
My hair get's incredibly tangled by the time I have to cowash and leave in again, also it has a dreadlock appearance at this point. It looks very thick and like matted wool, which I don't like. In fact it makes me itchy too. I think the coarse texture against my face, neck, and scalp cause me to itch.

Frustrated, wish I could have a style I could feel pretty in.

I use leave in Suave Moisture (everyday), LA Looks Sports Gel (everyday all throughout strands), Castor Oil(everyday on the ends), Hairspray(everyday), and Head and Shoulders(1-2x a week), hot oil deep treatment (1x a week).

I used Kinky Curly but currently can't afford it. Deva Curl Line never worked for my hair. Pantene, Tresemme never worked for my hair, nor did Noodlehead.
I don't have any pictures but to give you an idea I have hair like Stacy Dash and J.Lo before they became famous and got their hair professionally done.
I think it's a moisture issue, I feel you are using completely wrong products for your hair (I strongly suspect your hair doesn't like protein), and way too much oil for low-po hair. To moisturize low-po hair, you need patience and gentle heat. I'm sorry you are so frustrated.
remember, with all advice or suggestions for your hair, YMMV!!
My hair:
2b wavy, medium texture, low porosity, med-high density. Protein finicky.
My routine:
Cleansing: DCNP, every 4-5 days (occasionally use CJ cleansers).
RO: CJSC, occasionally use JCDC
Gel: KCCC, CJCIAB for 2nd day hair (sometimes third)

Heat is my friend: warm water rinses, steam caps, and diffuse dry. I love CLU cloths and my Denman.
What products do you suggest for shampoo, conditioner, leave ins, stylers, and Dts? Sulfate free leaves my scalp itchy and flaky. What regimen would you recommend?
Also my hair is dark brown with caramel highlights and lacks luster, it's never been shiny ever.
I have the same problem!! I can get my hair without frizz and all pretty curls with towel/air drying with the right products but there is just so much volume and i cant trust it so i wear it in a bun. Everyday. 😔

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