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-   -   I really need like extreme help. I am getting so discouraged.(

Rockangelxoxo 07-10-2011 01:46 PM

I really need like extreme help. I am getting so discouraged.
Hi, I had loads of help before, so I thought I'd try again. I have a couple of questions plus I need a little encouragement.

1) How long does it take to see your curl pattern? I cut off relaxed ends in Dec 2008 because I was getting my hair colored at that time, but still continued to Press N Curl until Jan 2010 where I then stopped all heat to my hair. I started to do-it-myself flat iron in Jan 2011. Is what I see whenever I wash my natural pattern? Or do I still need to give it time?

2) Could dryness/moisture be affecting what my curl pattern could be? For the life of me, I can't get my hair moisturized and STAY moisturized. Could that be affecting what my pattern is or could be? And how it hold styles?

3) How to keep hair moisturized? My hair is highly porous and I assume highly damaged from 15+ years of Chemical Relaxers and a year of Press N Curls. No matter what I do, I can't keep moisture in my hair. I spritz with Water/Olive Oil mixture. Coconut Oil is just sucked up in my hair, still leaving it dry just oily. With my current mixture, it's moisturized for 5 minutes, then POOF! dry.

4) How to get hair to lay down? Not even flat twists or flat braids can get my hair to lay flat. It makes having hair styles other than a poof, really hard.

4) LOSING HOPE. I am losing so much hope, I am not even kidding. I can't even flat iron my hair anymore because it the ends poofs/frizzes up immediately after flat ironing. My hair does not lay flat. I was going to make my own clip-ins, but if my hair doesn't lay flat, I can't hide the clips. And really, with my kinks or flat, I am not happy at all.

Please Help. I posted my current regime as of last week below. It's a new last ditch effort before I go back to Press N Curls. Until I get my hair to a length in which I am comfortable with my curls, I want to at least flat iron. But, my hair is growing and I don't really see any breakage. Just shedding. But it's probably so unhealthy. Any and all help is greatly, GREATLY appreciated.

Wash (once a week): Loreal EverSleek Intensive Replenishing Shampoo
Condish (co-wash) : Aussie Moist
DT (once a week) : AO Honeysuckle Rose Condish (w/heat)
Spritz/Sealant: Water/Olive Oil
Leave In: AO Island Replenishing Moisture Condish

quietstorm 07-10-2011 02:57 PM

Firstly, you saw your curl pattern once you did your big chop. It is possible that the color and the heat has changed your pattern and has also caused your dryness.

Undefined hair will not instantly become curls just because it is moisturized. Moisture can make the curls more defined and less frizzy but you must have a curl pattern to begin with.

It's hard for me to give you a list of specific products to use since its usually a trial and error for everyone. Based on what you have listed, maybe the shampoo and the cones in some of these products are making your hair feel a mess. Depending on your climate, maybe you should add some glycerine to your Water/Olive oil mix. Your hair may not like coconut oil. You maybe need a heavier sealant. You seem to have a good simple regiment but if the products aren't working, its time to find something else. Also, for some naturals it is important to moisturize with a leave in and seal with an oil/butter every night in order to maintain moisture. Remember, you have color treated and heat is regularly used on the hair so you sometimes have to do an extra step since both processes are drying.

I'm not sure why your hair doesn't lay neatly when braided/ flat twisted. Have you considered styling while the hair is wet/damp?

There's no need to lose hope. It's always hard to figure out what to do in the beginning. Even I sometimes stumble and I have been doing this for a while. It will get better when you know what works for you. I think you may need a break from your flat iron, doing it so regularly may not be helping you. A good thing is that your hair is not breaking badly.

Shondadini 07-10-2011 03:13 PM

Hi, i hope this bit of info helps.

1) It doesn't take very long to see your curl pattern once damaged hair is removed. What my concern is for you is that even though u got rid of your relaxed ends you used lots of heat, so u probably have heat damage which would hinder your curls. So im guessing what you see when your hair is wet is damages hair caused by heat and is not you curls. Damaged hair needs to be removed but in the mean time until u get to a compfy lenght do proteind treatments to help you hair cuticles and it will also leave your hair softer since it sounds like you lack protein.

2) A lack of moisture does affect poofyness. When your hair has adaquit moisture your curl pattern holds better.

3) As far as moisture is concerned you should try to applying a leave in then sealing with an oil of you choice, this way your hair will hold more moisture and won't dry out. Oil doesn't moisturize your hair so once the water that you spray on your hair evaporates it leaves you dry.

4) Don't lose hope dear. I think we all have those moments when we're in a transition that it seems like picking up scissors or a relaxer is our last ditch. But I really think staying away from heat is in your best interest. Since you already have problems retaining moisture heat just drys you out more. Try some textured styles like braid outs or twist out because it will show a defined curl pattern until you get one fully. As far as your hair laying down you may have to use a gel when u do flat twist.

Lanisha 07-10-2011 08:56 PM

To add to what other people said, Aussie Moist has dimethicone in it. Are you cleansing that out COMPLETELY? If not, any moisture you try to get into your hair will just sit on the surface because of possible cone budup. Also, is the Eversleek shampoo a sulfate shampoo? Sulfates frizz out my curl pattern to the MAX. Tons of frizz.

If those things aren't the culprit, then try doing your final rinse in under COLD water. It really brings out my curl pattern and shine when I do that. HTH.

Rockangelxoxo 07-15-2011 10:32 AM

Hi! Thank you so much for replying.

1) Thank you that's what I was wondering. If I am still seeing heat damage. So I need to return all my products -- except Aubrey Organics, I love that stuff -- and start treating for damage. Not healthy type 4 hair? And also start protein treatments.

3) For a leave-in, I use AO Island Replenishing Conditioner -- which does include Almond Protein. So all I need is a good sealing oil.

4) Thank you for your help and your words. Because I am just not happy. While I would never go back to relaxing, I have thought about picking up the scissors or going back to PNC. I guess I just have to give it time and keep trying products until I find one that works. It's extra hard because I'm Vegan, & I'm trying to be CG. So that makes my product choices limited.

Rockangelxoxo 07-15-2011 10:37 AM

Thank you for replying.

Eversleek is a Sulfate Free, Silicone Free Vegan Shampoo. It's made by Loreal. They have a whole line! I was seriously surprised.

Even though I am trying to go CG, people raved about Aussie Moist and it has soluble silicones which made me try it out. I do wash it completely out because even I don't want silicones on my hair. I think I may have to go to a beauty shop, have them do a wash/deep conditioner and start clean.

Rockangelxoxo 07-15-2011 10:46 AM

Thank you for the reply.

I think I may have confused you, I didn't just big chop, I big chopped/colored in 2008. I don't color my hair anymore. It was a one time thing. I also tried to go heat-free, but as you can tell, I fell off the wagon. So maybe it's old heat damage I need to get past.

I'm trying to go CG, so all my products in Silicone/Sulfate-Free. Plus I'm Vegan, so everything is all natural. (except for the Aussie Moist, I wanted to try it out because everyone raved about it. )

Always. I do what I need to when my hair is wet/damp. For example, I'll flat twist when wet, air dry & when I take it down, my hair is standing straight up so to speak.

*laughs* I'll take any saving grace I can get. I think I would have ran back to the salon if my hair was breaking. After not doing my own hair for all my life, it's hard to find stuff and get it working for me.

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