I definitely feel for you. In my search process it took some time to find a midwife that I meshed with, even though I had many options for home birth. For me, choosing a midwife that respected my partner's input and emotions as much as mine was key. Also, someone who understood that we do our own research and didn't take offense if I challenged her knowledge.

Something else to consider - what type of care do you want beyond the basic "I'll catch your baby". I personally appreciated having hour long pre-natal appointments and postnatal care that came to my home up to 6 weeks after the birth.

I also used a CPM.

Check out the mothering.com website. They may have some people in the area who have experienced your dilemma.