Should I ask her?
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 08:12PM
: Should I ask her?
I have a friend of 25 years that I only see twice a year anymore. We get toghether in June for my birthday lunch and in October for hers. About 4 years ago she skipped my birthday that year and the next. I still contacted her for her birthday but neither time did either of us bring up her ignoring/forgetting my birthday. I really don't believe she forgot, I think her birthday lunch would have reminded her and she would have mentioned it if she had forgotten.
So she resumed contacting me after the second year, but I've always wondered if she really wanted to. I feel like we have fun and connect well at the lunches but a part of me is wondering if I should actually ask her what happened and if she would rather not get together. I know that is putting her on the spot, but I figured doing it by e-mail would make it easier for her to be honest (please don't suggest I do it by phone, I hate talking on the phone even for pleasant conversations). I don't make friends easily and really hate to lose her as I really like her, BUT I've come to a point in my life where I really only want people in my life who want to be in it. I have other friends, a wonderful, loving husband, and am very close to my sister who I consider a friend.
I certainly don't want to come across to her as accusing, complaining, or whining. I just really want the truth. What should I do?