I've looked long and hard this year for Christmas presents for my loving wife. I want to make her feel special, so I opted to get her a smorgasbord of thoughtful gifts rather than one big o' gift. That way, I'll be showered in a plethora of smiles on Christmas morning.

Here are some of the items:

* A digital mop.

* A case of Black and Decker brussel-sprout-scented shampoo.

* A three-legged pet ferret that I've already named SpankMeCurly

* An energy-efficient curling iron that runs on propane.

* A toaster with a Hemi.

I think I done good.
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