Samielle, I think Al Yubbi is trying to make a point with this single sentence from your post. Werenumber2's anectdote about the 4a/b lady in denial is a good example of her piont. The women who like to believe their hair is 'curly' when they have like one or two wavy parts is another example. You have a good point about how it depends on your personal perception of your hair, and I agree with this. However, I have seen many women take this to the extreme and define their hair as something far off because they are clinging to the mentality that kinky is bad. It stems more from that rooted mentality than from the independent will to define it as they see it. Upbringing and community all influence their view, and they usually have to shake this notion they choose to transition their hair. Sometimes the view carries over after they have gone natural, and it manifests in this need to classify their hair as a looser texture than what it is. This is why having natural hair is more than just a style or a way to wear the hair, but a mental choice to wear hair on your head, even if your mind is telling you that it is not acceptable. Maybe imagining the texture as something they perceive to be beautiful (i.e. looser texture) is a way for them to cope? I don't have that answer.

Anyway, I don't think she was trying to attack your personal point of view on how you choose to define your hair, but on the general idea of women taking it to the extreme.
Originally Posted by Samielle1

Paraty, i completely agree with everything you're saying, that's basically what i've been saying which is why i personally dont call the 4a/b's whatever, curly, i refer to them as being kinky. I wasnt talking about making my hair to be something its not, i said even though i have coffee stirrer sized curls, that TECHNICALLY it IS CURLY, but i dont consider it curly, but kinky. the simple fact that this hairtype is constantly vilified in the black community is part of why i would rather call myself nappy, kinky, coily proudly. Just worded it differently. My whole point was that, even though you might not see the curls on naked afro textured hair, the tiny curls are still there with the use of lotions and butters.

I do agree and i see it alot, these hairtypes will try to deny to have something they dont have. But if i consider my hair something it IS, then how am i in delial? If i were in denial, i would have looser curls and try to call myself kinky. If you're going by the hair in that avatar of mine, that isnt my hair, that was taken 2 years ago when i unraveled my kinky twists. My real hair would look like that in a twistout but basically my real hair IS and always has been kinky. i dont understand the part about me being in the denial? lol.