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Join Date: Mar 2008
Sunday, February 22, 2009 at 02:38AM
Well, the "putting under" was definitely disgusting to recover from. If I'd known how sick it would make me, I'm not sure I'd have had the will to go through with it.
I wrote about why I did it in the "Do you love your body?" thread. But here's a synposis: I actually think women of size are sexy as he!!, but I don't have the right personality to carry it off, nor the skill to dress that figure type to advantage. It's an exaggeration to compare my discomfort with my suddenly larger body (I expanded seemingly out of nowhere, within a three year period) to that of someone who feels herself in a body of the wrong gender, but there is something in that idea I related to. I'm petite, and an observer rather than a true extrovert, and the kind of sexual attention I got from men, no matter how frumpily I dressed, made me
. That may be an unusual perspective, but it's truly how I felt, and still feel.
And, to be brutally honest, within reason (I hope) I've bought into the "thin is better" stereotype, though I would never try to impose it on anyone else. In fact, there are a pair of teenage sisters on my block who are positively luscious-looking in their largeness; they wouldn't look right being thin. But, somehow, with my small frame and personality, a thinner body is right for me.
With all that said, it's a hugely personal decision. I respect people who don't want to do it. But, I did. And I love the results ---