Sigh...I don't know WTF to do with my gray hair.

I'm 44, and have a young looking face. I've been coloring my hair for probably 18-20 years. I have some very large sections of gray...mostly at my temples, and a big fat splotch of white right in the middle of my head, right in my part area. It's difficult to color. The gray is so resistant. My natural color is dark brown. I like it dyed dark auburn and I used commercial boxes of dye for years. Unfortunately, the stubborn gray wouldn't cover with the boxes anymore unless I use a higher volume peroxide, like 30 or 40%. That damaged my hair pretty severely. So, a year or so ago, I switched to RC color. That covered the gray, but because it has no "lift", it also darkened the rest of my hair to almost black. So, early this year, I switched to henna. The henna itself won't dye my gray enough to cover it, so I have to add indigo. Again, because there is no lift, my non-gray hair is getting way too dark. Plus, it grows so fast that the grays show up again within a week of dying it. I cannot be dying my hair every week. It's too expensive and time consuming. I'm FED up. I wish I could just let it go gray, but because I'm so dark, the contrast with the white hair is just so ugly on me, and the process of growing it all out will take me over a year. I don't know if I'm strong enough to look at tri-colored hair for that long without giving up and dying again. My husband is no help. He tells me I look "fine" no matter what I do.

It sucks getting old.