I should have never made the mistake to go natural.

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  • 1 Post By adthomas
  • 1 Post By auntcurly
  • 1 Post By juanab
  • 1 Post By BlackAngelPlayah

It's really not what I expected. My hair is horrible. It's dry all the time and it doesn't look good at all. Today I did a "wash and go" and used a leave in, oil, and gel. I could have gotten the same results if I didn't put anything in my hair. I have no definition whatsoever. No curls. No kinks. No waves. Nothing. Just a frizzy mess. Plus, my hair takes forever to dry. I go to school at 9:00 in the morning so I'm usually rinsing my hair in the shower at like 7:30. When I go to sleep at night my hair is still completely wet. Like the outside is dry and underneath everything is wet. I was so fed up that I diffused it today after air drying for 4 hours. I big chopped 5 months ago and my hair was growing. So, a month and a half ago I trimmed my hair cause my hair was so hard and crunchy. Now it's completely stagnated. No growth. Nothing. I know I have to be patient but it's hard. It's horrible. I feel like this I'm going to be this ugly mess for the rest of my life. I should have thought about this decision longer than just 9 months. Ugh! :'(

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Oh no!!!!! I am so sorry!!! To get defined curls, maybe use some sort of curling pudding or custard. Why do u rinse ur hair in the morning? U can't do it at night? I keep my hair wrapped in a towel for 15 to 30 minutes so the towel fabric can soak up the excess water. After that, its not all dry, but at least its not soaking wet. For dryness, I would say use tea tree oil, coconut oil, and other products like that. Maybe use a little shea butter. It doesn't really add moisture; it just keeps moisture locked in. And hair growth can be tricky with natural hair. Sometimes it may not look like your hair is growing, but it is. The growth is just really curly. For growth, make sure you keep your scalp moisturized and your end trimmed. Over-washing could lead to no growth as well. Starting out natural can be difficult and frustrated to some. You just have to mix and match strategies and schedules to find out what works best for your hair.

Lots of Luck, Love, ... And Curls!!!
Not all natural hair is going to curl but that doesnt mean it's horrible. If gel doesn't give you the look you want then stop using it because some gels can dry your hair out.

Will you only be happy if your hair curls? Have you tried twistouts or braidouts to give it texture? The dryness can probably be fixed with the right regimen. What are you using to moisturize? Are you sealing? What are you sealing with? I know it can be hard at the beginning but don't give up just yet.

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“Mama says pretty comes in all different sizes. And my size… is cute!” -Honey Boo Boo
I know how u feel but my hair now us stunning , my dear ur hair needs to breathe just like a person after an accident or surgery it will take time, right now try to find good products for u , I guess ur hair is low porosity which might also be protein sensitive , keep it moist use jojoba oil b4 shower n to style as well .
I'm so sorry you feel that way I know it's kinda hard... I straightened my hair for almost 17 years and I decided I would stop because I just got tired of it. It's been really hard for me as well because it's like I have a new head, lol! But I've been trying different things to see how I can make it work, and even tho sometimes I feel like it's not worth it, I just try to breath and keep trying

There are tons of videos on Youtube that could help you Just try to stay calm and don't give up! Maybe try different products, you know how it is with them... some will work on you and not for me

Also, for the drying process, have you tried plopping? I'm doing it right now and there are no words to describe how awesome is this! My hair takes FOREVER to air dry! So plopping makes it easier

Sorry if there's typos in this comment, my english sucks a little bit, lol!

Hope it helps!
If you honestly feel like going natural was a mistake you can at any time go back to relaxing. I dont know the reason you stopped using chemicals but if that is what you prefer then go for it.
curlypearl likes this.
Yes, it's real. No, you can't touch it.
Just be patient. Try one product at a time and let YouTube be your guide. That's how I stopped straightening my hair so much (I still do but when it starts to fade I wear it curly for the rest of my week.)
My hair has no curl pattern either. And at first, my hair was not to my liking. I know you hate to hear this, but it takes time.

First things first: stop the gel.

I say this as a gel lover, but gel can seriously dry your hair out. You have to get your hair conditioned up-to-speed first

Second: Clarify. Your hair probably has a lot of build-up from the gel and needs a good cleansing. Kinky Curly's Come Clean is excellent. But you will need a good moisturizing conditioner, one with slip, afterwards. If you are on a budget, try Tressame Natural's Nourishing Conditioner and doctor it up with EVOO, honey, etc. You don't have to use gobs of this stuff, a teaspoon of oil, honey, is sufficient. You can add anything that your hair likes. I use EVOO, a bit of honey along with a heaping Tablespoon of Baby Bananas (my hair loves this stuff), a T of full fat yogurt and a 1/2 teaspoon of wheat germ oil. Tweak it to your liking, apply, smoothing and working it in and then wear a plastic conditioning cap. If using yogurt don't sit under a dryer. But since it's summer, the added heat is not essential.

If you have the money, search this site as there are loads of great deep conditioner recs. Some people sit overnight, but I find that I don't need that much time, 45 minutes to a couple of hours should do the trick.

Rinse apply a leave-in and then style.

Since you are having problems, you might want to twist your hair with a butter like shea. Naptural on youtube has a great recipe. Since you like gel, you should try making flaxseed gel and using that along with a butter to twist. It's not as drying and I discovered that fsg brings out texture in my hair, but the hold is light. And it's not as drying as commercial gels. There are loads of recipes on youtube, but I use a plain one with no additives.

Once you get your hair back into condition you can go back to using a bit of commercial gel, just make sure you keep your hair moisturized and clarify on occasion to get rid of build-up.

But before ditching the natural, I would at least try conditioning and twisting, as well as checking out the many youtube tutorials that can help you solve your problems. Find a hair twin and see what happens.
sheilacurl likes this.
Your hair will not be soft and moisturized all by itself. You need to step back and look at the products you are using. Is your hair porous? What products are you using? Are you using products with silicones? Are you using sulphate shampoos?
Sounds like you don't know your hair properties and are choosing products that don't work for your hair. May I suggest you found out more on the Live Curly Live Free website

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curlypearl likes this.

texture - medium/fine, porosity - low/normal, elasticity - normal
co-wash - NaturelleGrow Coconut Water or Marshmallow Root, Slippery Elm Bark & Blue Malva Cleansing Conditioners
LI - KCKT mixed w/ SM C & H Curl & Style Milk
DC - NG Mango & Coconut H2O or Chamomile/Brdck Root
Gel - SM souffle (winter), KCCC (summer) or CR Naturals Aloe Whipped Butter Gel (year round)
Sealers - Virgin Coconut Oil, Avocado butter, Aloe butter
Ayurvedic treatments - Jamila Henna, Sukesh, Aloe Vera Powder, Hibiscus Powder

You might not be using the right products for your hair type. What are your hair properties? What products are you using? Do you do any deep conditioning or protein treatments?

2c (3a potential?), M, ii, porous, good elasticity, APL, dark brown with a silver lining.
Love coconut oil, olive oil, and Everyday Shea!
Maybe try putting your hair in braids for a while. Sometimes trying to find what works for your hair can be so stressful. I'm still trying to figure out what works for me, an can really empathize with you. If you put it in braids for a while, you won't have to stress about your hair, and you might retain a little length while sporting a protective style
I just wanted to tell you that it honestly does get better over time and its totally worth the wait. My hair started off limp and damaged 2b/c and now after a lot of patience and care its to its natural 3b and its grown. You just got to see what works for you and not be so down on yourself. Braids and buns really are lifesavers when you're at a loss. Goodluck.
Hair can be a real pain- Straight or curly, relaxed or natural! Your hair, as you said was growing and you trimmed it now it looks like it's not growing.. Trust me. It IS growing!! Be sure to take pictures of your hair from time to time. Then when you feel like you're getting no where, you can look back at were you have been and you'll see how far you've come.

Make sure you keep your moisture up. And watch your products. I can't use protein heavy products because they make my hair hard and dry. I don't use styling gel, though I do plan to give a few a try at some point. I use activator gel. Yes, the old school stuff that people with jheri curls use to use. It's really moisturizing and makes my curls POP! I also don't use sulfate shampoo anymore. I feel it has really boosted my moisture level through the ROOF! I was using the sulfates assuming they were just as good as the sulfate free.. Granted some SLS free shampoos are just as drying as the regular sulfate ones. But my once poofy, rough ends are now just like the rest of my hair, nice and smooth. Who knew?

OK, so now we've stopped the protein and gotten our moisturizing up to speed.. We're sealing our moisture in with some type of oil...

But what if we STILL don't like what we see? Well, we've determined our hair type, if it don't curl it just don't curl. And that's ok. We can do twist outs or curl formers.. Or just wear it all nice and fluffy...

But we are just tired of looking at it and wanna rip it all out and burn our scalps so it NEVER grows back!!!

OK, Dearie.. Calm down... Chill out... Have a drink and chill..

As someone suggested, braids or wraps are an option. You can get your hair braided up and leave it for weeks- even months! And all you have to do then is just keep your hair moisturized and go.. No real styling necessary. And when you take them out, you'll be happy to see you're hair has growing while it was away.. Plus you'll miss it by then. I am happy with my hair for the most part, but I have "watched pot syndrone (drome? Is it a "n" or an "m"? Hmmm..) I want my hair to grow, and it is growing all the time, but I need BIIIIIIIIIIIIG hair to be happy!!! Totally happy anyway.. But I know it takes time. I've only been loose for a year, and this is pretty good growth for 1 year. So I can live with that. Still..

Anyway I'm RAMBLING as usual! I'm thinking about wrapping my hair away instead of fluffing it out and styling everyday. BUT it's the heat of summer and I ain't trying to be wearing no wrap on my head as hot as it is down here! (I'm in ALABAMA!!) But when winter hits, scarves and other assorted wraps here I come!!

The POINT of all this rambling is... Don't give up.. Sure you COULD relax your hair again, or flat iron it (another solution that isn't permanent!!) but I'm sure your hair is beautiful! You just have to change your perspective and have patience. (No one whats to hear that, but that is what it takes.) Take care of what you were born with.. I promise it will pay off..

We're all rooting for ya!!!

(I'm sorry... I'm corny, I know.. )
curlypearl likes this.
auntcurly I am 2 months natural. I now love my hair. I liked it a lot when I first became natural but now I'm in love. Thanks for your advice, especially about things you can do on a budget because it's easy to become a product junkie. I now have my holy grail products for my hair. Now trying to find them for my 12 year old who is 1 month natural.

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Maybe this video will give you a little inspiration? Hopefully this works, i'm mobile.

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