The Salon doesn't think like us...

Hi everyone, I'm new to the forum. I've lurked for a few months now. I had to ask this because, after discussing with a few of my friends, I realized there's no one in real life that understands my reasoning. I am transitioning, about 14 months post relaxer.

So about 2 weeks ago I went to the salon (for the first time in 3 years) to get a trim. They washed, blow-dried, and flat-ironed my hair because I came in with straight hair. This I had no problems with. What did bother me is that they shampooed my hair (I'm pretty sure with a sulfate shampoo), did not condition it, blew it out on high heat (smoke was coming out) in a very rough manner (I don't even want to think about how much hair I lost) without adding any product (!!!), and proceeded to flat iron my hair on high heat. All she added was oil sheen when she finished. Of course, the end result looked nice, but I was in disbelief. I have a passive personality so I didn't say anything but do they not know how damaging that is? I can't imagine someone going into that salon every week to get their hair straightened in that manner. And it seemed so normal, but I just couldn't believe it.

It got me thinking: are we unnecessarily cautious about our hair? Or is the salon so stuck on making the hair look good that it doesn't care about the health? IDK, that was just a bad experience and reminded me why I don't go to salons anymore. What do you think?
I’ve had blow outs like this. I can’t fault them for the sulfate shampoo, as that is considered normal and mainstream unless specifically getting a curly cut. But the rough treatment? That surprises me – but then I think it is just a “job” for many, so not everyone is going to care about their job and not everyone is going to do great quality work. Which isn’t to excuse them – I never go back to those types of stylists. And yeah, I try to avoid the salon as much as possible because it is too much of a risk. I don’t even think most stylists do color better, much less cuts.
High Density, High Porosity, Medium Texture, 3B with some kink

Lo-Poo: No Preference
Co-wash: CJ Smoothing Conditioner
RO: CJ Strengthening Conditioner - HG
LI: CK Satin Roots
Styler: CK Coil Jam
Other Likes: Castor Oil; CK Twist Whip, MD CSC
Dislikes: Wheat Protein; Aloe LIs or Stylers

yeah, I know what you mean. I think all they care is that you leave looking good, I dont think the health matters. Besides, split ends will bring you back sooner, which will get them more $$$. Not saying they are evil greedy people, just saying they dont know curly hair. They just dont.
Rae ~ 2c/3a ~
Wife to a 3c Curly Guy
Mom to a straight and a curly.

"The Longer the Hair, the Bigger the Blob."

Porous, very dense but fine hair. Medium everything else.
CoWash: Tressemee naturals
RO: Generic biolage and generic joico k-pak
LI: Tresemee
Miss Jessie's Pillow soft curls, diffuse 50%, add KCCC and diffuse to 80%.
Always wash upside down.
I think hair stylists weren't really taught about sulfate and hair health in beauty schools... So I've been told. Like I don't really have a curly stylist, I just go to my moms stylist (which she has pretty straight hair) and my stylist ALWAYS flat irons and blow drys even if I tell her not to. Somehow, someway they end up straightening and blow dry so they can get "a straight length" because my curly hair is "too hard to cut with making sure it's all one length". So yeah, it looks beautiful when it's done but then I leave the salon with split ends and I hate it! Stylists who don't deal with curly hair dont really know the "science" behind sulfate and taking care of health. Very few do!!!
Cosmetology schools still lack global training modules for curly hair and that's what's at the heart of the problem. These folks learn how to straighten curly hair and that's usually the extent of it. Until that changes, you will have to actively seek out curl-friendly stylists, unfortunately.

And this may sound harsh, but it's meant as sound advice: If we remain passive, we are partially to blame for any wild handling we get from our stylists. Just sitting there and taking it, then paying for it and then complaining about the experience we put ourselves through does ring a little hollow. We curlies need to speak up for ourselves.

Ringlet Fandango! ... Where curly ideas roam free

* 2 blogs this week: Pictures of My (Sorta) Big Chop! AND Turn a Nightmare Product into a Dream* My Albums

Last edited by Korkscrew; 01-03-2013 at 05:13 AM.
I think customers being passive is a BIG issue -- and I know that I do it too! I usually just let them do whatever it is they want to do to my hair (blow dry, sulfate shampoo, whatever) because I'm too timid to speak up and ask them not to.

I guess you could find a stylist who specializes in curly hair. I don't have any in my area (really small town), so maybe I'll try specifying when I make the appointment what I want (diffuser, etc) so there is no awkwardness when I get to the salon.
I found it hard to speak up in the past to tell stylists not to blowdry my hair, etc. because they always acted so shocked and offended, like I told them I like to kill puppies. They could not believe I would want my hair to just curl naturally. They acted like there was something wrong with me. This happened in numerous salons in different cities across the country for 20 years until I found an awesome Deva stylist.
*3B, medium/fine, normal porosity, normal elasticity, shoulder-length when dry.
@korkscrew: I know being passive is bad. But it's not something that can change overnight. Being timid is seriously is a part of my personality, outside of hair salons. I wish I had said something, but it was the first time I went to her and I didn't want to leave a bad impression, and I didn't want to offend her, and she was so proud when she was finished, and... I could go on forever. I don't understand how this makes me "hollow" though. And yes I'm complaining, but at the end of the post I did pose a question about whether we are overly cautious about our hair. Oh, and I didn't pay for it, I only paid for the trim, she knew ahead of time I couldn't afford the full price (college student) So while I understand your advice, "hollow" just seems to be the wrong word.

Anyways, I don't really go to salons, so I most likely won't have any future problems, I'll just be passive in my room doing my own hair. I just didn't want to trim my own hair because I was trimming it for even-ness and not split ends and it's hard to position my hands correctly to do that.

Thanks for the feedback anyways ladies.
I'm blunt. It's not personal. Probably all of us have at some point not spoken up during a crappy hair session. Thus my use of the word “we” above, and not “you”.

Wasn't calling you hollow btw. Was saying the behavior rang hollow. I mean that it's hard to view someone as a victim after they've made a conscious choice to go along w/a bad hair experience, and on top of that, agreed to pay for it.

One time (a long time ago), I actually sat, “glued” to a chair (in horror), while a woman gave my already curly hair a Jheri curl For me, it was a product of being young and it was something my mother had arranged for me. But being honest, timidity was also a factor. I didn't even make my feelings known. Yes, it's hard to change timidity overnight. But until the effort is made, all sorts of suffering becomes of it (speaking from personal experience). And much of that suffering is largely voluntary.

Things to help choose your next stylist and work on timidity - and I think someone just suggested a couple of these: Tell stylists up front what you do and don't want done to your hair, in detail. Bring pics of the post-style look if it helps. Force yourself to look the person in the eyes while you speak up, even if it makes you feel like wilting. And again, finding curl-friendly stylists should be the top priority. That includes reading online reviews and even interviewing stylists (if just by phone). It's telling if you meet your "curly stylist" and her hair has been straightened. Or if you ask how s/he treats curly hair and she tells you she thins it out, brushes it and then blows it dry. Better to find that stuff out ahead of time.

Ringlet Fandango! ... Where curly ideas roam free

* 2 blogs this week: Pictures of My (Sorta) Big Chop! AND Turn a Nightmare Product into a Dream* My Albums

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