Giving up on my heat damaged hair

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  • 1 Post By MissDarcei

I have always loved curly hair and at one point, I had some kinky curls. I had mainly 3A and some 3B curls but once my aunt introduced me to the flat iron 5 years ago, I couldn't put it down. She would straighten my hair for me with no heat protectant and use hair grease before straightening it, absolutely horrible

Long story short, my hair was very damaged from that so I cut it multiple times and everytime I cut my hair, I would have decent 2C hair and I just cut it over the summer and got layers to get back some type of curl into my hair. My hair has been dyed once and it was once it's beautiful 3A-3B curls to 2A-2B waves but incredibly dry, frizzy, flat, and fine waves. My bottom layers are completely straight and won't curl much.

Now I baby my hair but I've seen absolutely no improvement, it's still getting worse and I'm at a lost of what products to use. I wash my hair and use shampoo only 1-2 times a week. I deep condition everytime I do shampoo with aussie 3 minute miracle mixed with creme of nature intensive conditioning treatment with argan oil, and I add a bit of honey. I leave that in through my shower process and rinse out at the end. When I get out the shower, I rake through Lustrasilk curl max curl pudding, shea moisture curl & style milk, coconut oil, argan oil, and some olive oil eco styler gel. Since I long for my more kinkier curls back, I'll do this at night and plop overnight but I NEVER get curls. I still get textured frizzy waves with a plop in for 7-12 hours.

I thought I was missing some protein so I bought aphogee 2 step treatment and did that but my hair didn't even change. I want to dye my hair again and have my curls back but I doubt that'll happen again. I really don't want to have to cut my hair because I want my long curly hair again

I'm tempted to just get a curly perm or something, I have no clue and I'm just lost at what to do. Can someone please help me. I'm DESPERATE
How long have you been babying it? I've been growing out my damage for over a year now and I've cut almost all of the gross hair off. That's the only way to get your hair back to normal. My hair is short now but at least it doesn't look like a stringy wavy mess.
Korkscrew likes this.
3c Hair
Fine Strands, High Density, Low Porosity
CG since August 2011
Loving my hair!!!
I was going to ask the same question as MissDarcei. It took me about six months to get my hair looking anything like it used to after I'd been flat-ironing for a year and a half, and probably another few months (can't quite remember now) before I actually thought it felt healthy again.
3b in South Australia.
It's going on about 3 months of some heavy duty babying action.
Did your hair get worse before it started getting better? Because my hair just looks horrible and I'm hoping it will just get better from here.
What are your hair properties? What shampoo are you using? Are there any silicones in your products?

It seems like you're using a TON of moisture which could be overmoisturizing it. With damage, your hair is likely porous and protein will fill in those holes so I suggest you continue with some protein. If aphogee didn't work, try a different one. Check out IAgirls' gelatin protein recipe (it's on the recipe board and in the 2's section, a search should find it), it's super easy to make and a strong dose of protein.

I cannot plop for more than 5 minutes. I can't sleep on my hair and never get 2nd day hair. Some techniques just don't work as well for some as they do others but it's hard to point you in a specific direction without knowing your properties (texture, density, porosity), especially texture.
fine, thin, normal/(low?) porosity. Mod-CG. Usually I can't co-wash more than 1x a week, & sometimes I have to use T-Gel in rotation due to scalp issues.

Co-wash: VO5 Volumizing
Poo: Giovanni 50:50
RO:TN, Nexxus Youth Renewal, Alba Coconut
PT: gelatin PT, ION EC
Stylers: Giovanni mousse, TIGI Curls Rock amplifier (a-cone), Curls Rock Strong Hold Mousse
Gels: SCC spray gel

I know it's frustrating when you don't see results as fast as you like. I had some heat damage when I started out and my hair around the front, at the ends lost it's curl completely due to flat ironing.
It takes time, you can baby your hair to death but if its damaged you have to wait until it begins to grow in healthier and that takes time.
When I stopped using heat and sulfates and began taking all the necessary steps to get my hair healthy it took about a year for it to look really great.
Have you considered trying the co-washing method only and cutting out shampoo altogether? If not make sure the shampoo is sulfate free and gentle. Keep up with the deep treatments and taking care of your hair and I would suggest not dying it or using heat at all. When your hair begins to grow and look better you can start to cut off the damaged parts.
Try to be patient.

Good luck.
I too succumbed to the flat iron. Worse yet I did a chemical straightener I loved being able to run my fingers through my hair, loved that I could wake up in the morning and "go", but hated the damage I did and was doing to my hair. I remember the first time I went back to curly....the curls were lifeless, limp, and a shadow of their former self. I went from a strong 3A to a limp 2c You want to know what's funny though? The first day I went to work with my hair like this my co-workers RAVED about it! LOL, seems that even on a bad day curls are envied! Honestly, I take things day to day. Some days I get good curl formation and other days not so good. I started wearing flowers in my hair all the time, and this may sound silly but even on a bad hair day I feel good about my hair when I do this!

Because my curls are not as strong I handle them very gently. Heavy raking, shaking, and over scrunching causes the curly to loosen. I gently add product and I also try not to go overboard. Even curl friendly products can be too heavy and pull out the curl, so I start with a reasonable amount of product, apply it, and if I need more I add it later. Sometimes it even seems to work better if I apply the majority of product when my hair is dry as the curl is more firmly set in a dry state. I just make sure I gently cup the dry curls and very slowly scrunch the product (normally mousse--Pantene) into the curl.

Hope this helps. I too am struggling with my hair as it grows out and hope that I can get past this awkward stage. Good luck!
Oh and I almost forgot! I also wondered is it possible you're using a bit too many products. When I first went back to curly I was deep conditioning EVERY time I washed my hair, adding tons of gel, mousse, oils, etc. thinking it would repair my hair. Unfortunately, all it did was weigh my curl down and pull the little bit of definition I had. I do shampoo (yes sulfates) but only twice a week, I do DC but only once a week or once every two weeks and I stopped overloading on product. I haven't quite found my HG's but currently I like CK when my hair is wet and then I plop. Then when my hair is pretty well dry I scrunch Pantene Curl Mousse in. No these are not all curl friendly products but it does work for me. I'm hoping once I grow out all this damage my true curls will come back.
Did your hair get worse before it started getting better? Because my hair just looks horrible and I'm hoping it will just get better from here.
Originally Posted by CurlyAddict_
3 months isn't very long. To be honest, it looked okay while I was babying it but now that my healthy hair has grown out it looks a thousand times better. You just have to be patient and wait for the new hair to grow in. Don't give up!
3c Hair
Fine Strands, High Density, Low Porosity
CG since August 2011
Loving my hair!!!
I have no idea and I use a suave shampoo but I might just try to ease up because I might be overmoisturizing my hair. Have you tried that treatment and if so, does it work for you?
I tried cowashing but I think I need a new conditioner to use as a cowash, do you have any suggestions?
You bring up pretty good points, I think I may be too rough with my curls, I'm gonna try and be way more gentle and use less product because my hair does seem greasy and weighed down some days.
Did your hair get worse before it started getting better? Because my hair just looks horrible and I'm hoping it will just get better from here.
Originally Posted by CurlyAddict_
3 months isn't very long. To be honest, it looked okay while I was babying it but now that my healthy hair has grown out it looks a thousand times better. You just have to be patient and wait for the new hair to grow in. Don't give up!
Originally Posted by MissDarcei
Thank you, I'll try not to and be more patient
Hey girl my heat damage was bad also I been straighting my hair since 11 I stop using heat when I was 18
It will be a year sometime in July and let me tell you I never thought my hair was this curly !! It's like 3b n 3c back then like 3a Lil bet curler

What I use is as Iam coconut co wash I low poo(Shea moisture raw Shea butter poo) at the ending off the month. I deep treatment wit Aubrey organic gpb it's a light protein condioner. Leave I use shea mositure smoothie seal with aloe Vera juice.

Best tip is moisturize but now too much like you was doing lol at night or when you wake up put extra virgin coconut oil on your ends

When you low poo you can use an oil before u poo, if poo it's too heavy no matter how low poo it is lol then only put poo on your scalp when you rinse it will clean remain of your hair. You can try apple cider vinegar put Ur ph back down after pooing. If you have more questions pm me I don't wanna over info you lol
Don't give up, I recommend you to get a trim constantly and try pro naturals moroccan argan oil hair treatment kit, this treatment helped me to repair my hair and it has very good products to restore it completely.
The only thing you can do is either cut it or do wet sets with braids, twists, or rollers until you are satisfied.

My co-workers thought I had been using a relaxer before, that is how straight my hair had become over a three year period. I had heat damage and had to cut my hair short a few months ago. I left the top long to give my hair an edgy look. I would roll the top to blend it while it grew to a more workable length and coiled my all natural sides. Basically it was like transitioning again. I just cut off those last straight hairs two days ago and have vowed to never flat iron again. My hair has already grown a lot and I am so much happier with healthy tight coils.

The funny thing is I never disliked my texture. Honestly, I just got bored with the typical natural hairstyles and wanted a bob look for a change. Now I am rocking a pixie kind of look with height on top and I love it. I guess my advice to anyone thinking about flat ironing when bored is to just get a haircut or change how you style your look.
violently happy
The Suave shampoos are not low-poos (i.e. sulfate free). You could try washing with conditioner, or use a sulfate free poo, also known as a low-poo. That would be less drying. But if you have permanent damage, you just have to grow it out and have it cut off.

BTW, the Moroccan oils have silicone.

Baby Fine 3B, low porosity, normal density and elasticity
CGing since July 2008
Okay everyone, I'm going to take everyone's comments into consideration and start changing up my products and routine. Thank you all!
I think a curly perm would damage your even more

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