Help! Deadly Case of REAL Bedhead!


I am a newbie here, been browsing around and wow! -- great site and great boards!

Got a serious question/problem for you all. My hair type is outlined down below with my signature.......

OK, I am trying not to make this a rude or offensive or rule-breaking question, but if anyone can help it would be you guys!

I have a wonderful new man in my life after a long dry spell (divorce, bad dates, you-name-it). I'm thrilled, what a delight, but all this LOVE is ruining my HAIR! After we "wake up" or "get up" or whatever you'd prefer to call it (!), the back of my hair is such a rat's nest, it's absolutely matted to the scalp! I mean, it's BAD! (It's fine and tangles a little when I sleep alone...!) I have ordered a silk charmeuse pillowcase, condition like crazy, etc. It takes forever to get the tangles out -- I have to wet it, add conditioner, and slowly pry it loose from itself -- ouch!

Is there a product I could put on my hair before we, ummmm, "go to sleep" that would help prevent the incredible tangling and resultant breakage, frizziness and damage without being too greasy, smelly, off-putting, etc.?

He gets a good laugh at my Phyllis Diller/Albert Einstein impression, but, hey, if we keep getting along as well as we do, I'm going to be bald on the back of my head!!!!! (And we can't only "sleep" in one position or two, you know?)

ANY suggestions will be welcome -- I have asked a couple of stylists and friends to no avail!
THANK YOU CURLY PEOPLE! Biquette of the Deadly Bedhead
who is....
....maybe a 2a or 3a? with fine, thinning a little (genetics and peri-menopause!!), wavy to curly, not-quite-shoulder length, brunette (professional color to cover the ol' gray), but basically nice hair kinda person!
I can't help you too much because my husband has too deal with this too. My hair looks like a rats nest when I've slept. However I am just a few days on CG and my hair looks way better. I think part of the frizzy tangled mess is build up and cones.

Good luck!

I wish I could help you! My hair is also tangle prone and I asked for a similar "anti tangle" type product on here and no-one could help. I posted the same question on another board and I was recommended a trim and Giovanni Direct leave in.
what about putting your hair up before engaging in "activities." Put it in a bun or something?
Thanks so much for replying so quickly, you guys!

My hair isn't quite long enough to put up, and when I tried a clip or covered elastic thingy to pull back part of my hair, it fell out or pulled out anyway.

I haven't tried the CG routine, though I have recently stopped washing my hair so often with shampoo, I just rinse it and add some conditioner....

Maybe it is product build-up, but my hair is colored (single process) and I was under the impression that clarifiers would strip out my color....??

My scalp is oily, and my hair is dry but soft-ish -- it may be that all that daily shampooing was aggravating my scalp to produce more oil -- seems less oily on the scalp and at the roots since I skip the daily shampooing.....

Yeeeeesh, the problems!
who is....
....maybe a 2a or 3a? with fine, thinning a little (genetics and peri-menopause!!), wavy to curly, not-quite-shoulder length, brunette (professional color to cover the ol' gray), but basically nice hair kinda person!
Before beginning CG, you use a clarifying shampoo ONCE, to remove all the buildup and start with a clean slate. After you avoid all hard-to-remove ingredients and rely on the gentle cleansers in conditioner to clean your hair without stripping it.

If your hair gets built up on CG you can use less harsh clarifiers like baking soda or diluted apple cider vinegar. People on modified CG still shampoo but less frequently, and use more gentle (usually non sulfate) shampoos when they do.

Anyway, it's good to clarify when you have issues like this, just to know if its a product that's causing the tangles.
I'm laughing as I'm writing this because it is so NOT sexy but if products don't work, what about a hair net? LOL!!! I know some men like to run their fingers thru the hair so I don't know if that's an option or not but maybe it could be used every now and then....

Natural hair color - dark brunette
Fine, thinish hair/3a, 3b
I swear, Darby, I have thought of practically everything -- hairnet included (you want fries with that???) -- SO sexy! Man, I am afraid we would be laughing so hard we could never, ummmm, get to "sleep"!!!

I just wish there was some leave-in product that wasn't an oil, that didn't have an overpowering aroma or feel, that could prevent the worst of the tangling and matting....Arrrrgggghh....It is frustrating! My scalp hurts for hours and the bathroom floor is covered with strands of broken curls -- boo hoo! And I don't have enough hair to be parting with any of it!

Would a silicone product work -- make the hairs slide past each other more readily without being to greasy or smelly -- even at the risk of buildup on my color-treated hair? What do you all think?

Many thanks! Biquette
who is....
....maybe a 2a or 3a? with fine, thinning a little (genetics and peri-menopause!!), wavy to curly, not-quite-shoulder length, brunette (professional color to cover the ol' gray), but basically nice hair kinda person!
You could try a silk charmeuse pillowcase -- it reduces friction and has helped me a lot. The back of my hair used to get "ratty" prior to using it. You can get them at Bed, Bath & Beyond and a pkg. of 2 will cost around $16.00 (if you use the 20% off coupon). I also read in another thread that Target had them for a very good price.

You may want to try a little jojoba oil also. I have not personally tried it yet, but there seem to be many on this site who love it. Supposed to be very light and not greasy. As I'm writing, I'm thinking I better go get some tomorrow, I've really been wanting to see how it works for me...

Keep us posted!!
3A (I think)

Loving my curls after all these years -- but still trying to figure out what works for me...
A few years back, a satin pillowcase & lots of silicone serum (I used Frizz Ease) was my fix. If you're not worried about cones, the serum helps tremendously. I'm CG now, so the serum is taboo so I just use tons of conditioner & as long as my hair's well-moisturized, tangles are minimal.

If we're going to "sleep" & I will be in public again, I make sure I'm in the top bunk! My hair is not public ready after a "sleeping" session no matter what I do.
3a/b mix
I rub lotion onto my hands and then I put my hair in a LOOSE braid, I don't comb it out, so it has to be a loose braid. I've been doing this since i was in HS, so it takes me like 10 seconds. Anyway, if I don't braid I wake up looking like Nick Nolte! so embarrassing.....

I think that there's this expectation that women should wake up in the morning with dewy, glowing skin and perfectly placed, shiny bouncy hair, which is so far from my reality it's not even funny. Thanks for nothing movies and teevee!!!!
2A/3A, high porosity, fine, normal elasticity.
Shampoo Bar: Dr. Bronner's Baby Bar
Condish: KBB Milk/Mop Top/TJ Nourish
Leave-In: See Above!
Curl Enhancer: KCCC/BB Gelee
Hold: Fuzzy Duck(med)/BRHG(strong)
2nd Day Hair: FOTE + Dab BRHG

Loving BB Gelee right now
my hair likes: protein, light gels/sprays
Fotki: pw=curly
I second the recommendation for the "top bunk".

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