need gentle color brand: coarse hair "grabs color darker" than it is

my hair takes a light brown color applied by a stylist to cover grays and it washes out with my hair turned black. and these semi-permanent colors then are truly permanent.

my hair is very coarse, very thick diameter.

it was 2 different salons. 2 different brands.

my hair is very dry so i need something gentle.

i've been trying to grow these dark (black) colors out for the last 2 years. (which is just brutal).

i'm so scared to try again but i have a lot of grays on top of my brown hair and with my thick diameter hair strands, they stand out noticeably.

thank you!
i just wanted to say that i'd like to get it colored tomorrow when i have a day off..

so anyone have any ideas? TIA
I have some ideas.

Make sure you have clarified off anything buildup-y (waxes, cones, petroleum, etc).

Ask them to use a 10 volume instead of a 20. The increased alkalyne pH of the 20 over the 10 could be a factor for your coarser texture. But...if you have buildup, the 10 volume won't be enough.

Then have the colorist use a dark blonde, not a brown. My curly hair grabs color dark too but is fine and super porous. It is dark brown for a couple of days then settles to a medium brown.

When the color is removed, have the stylist use an acidic pH poo/conditioner, not just a color-safe one. Frequently, a color-safe one is loaded with cones which seal in the color nicely. However, an acidic one is more important if you're using a 10 volume because the cuticle wasn't as ajar and needs to be clamped down tight from an acidic shift in pH. This will also give you good shine. I personally love Lush Sarah Cynthia Stout (or something close to that), but Aussie Moist poo is good too (has dimethicone which seals well).

Finally, and I can't stress this enough, don't wet your hair for 2 days and don't shampoo for 4-5 days. Day 3, you can condition, as long as it isn't super-oil based like Giovanni products. Many stylists don't want to use a 10 Volume to cover gray hair. I find that if I'm willing to adapt my techinique, I can get away with a gentler process and, after the color has time to take well, the desired results with more softness and less harshness/darkness.

2b w/ some 3a
product tester geek
I don't have salon suggestions, but if you want to use color at home, I highly recommend Color by Robert Craig. Super gentle and great for covering gray.

As with ANY haircolor, you should always choose a color about 3 shades lighter than you think you want, as it always goes darker on curly hair, esp porous hair.

good luck!

SF Bay Area, CA * "The Angel-Goddess-Guru of Haircoloring"
3b/c/a mix. medium texture, low porosity
My Motto: Strand Test! some hair pics
-- gone, but never forgotten.

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