Are You Embracing or Running Away From Your Gray Hair?

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Well the good thing is if I was allergic I would have probably made it. I hate to say it but a large factor were two of my best friends. They tried being really supportive but it was almost worse because neither are good at dissembling and it was very patently obvious they thought it really aged me. I will say this. It was WAY harder to make it look good on the fly. Day one hair it always was doable. Shiny. It wasn't bad. But after that it was a struggle. OTOH I'm not saying "never". If I ever feel like going short again I will give it another try. That would have been the best way.
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wow! you were pretty far into the transition! were you not happy with the look of the gray or just tired of the transition process?
Originally Posted by rbb
. Here I am post dye. Attachment 47514
Originally Posted by chupie

You look great either way.
I'm growing my grey out but my hair was hennaed and it was very, very bright because I bleached it before doing the henna and used Bright Red from Henna Hut. So, I went to professional hair dresser to dye my hair back to a medium/dark brown and grow from there.


I don't mind dark hair with silver roots rather than dark/silver roots and bright red/fading orangey ends.


I do not plan to BC but just grow it out and trim as my ends need it. I am just at shoulder and wear my hair up most times anyway. The silver makes the updos look interesting.
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Last edited by Speckla; 11-24-2014 at 09:44 AM. Reason: typos
"I'm growing my grey out but my hair was hennaed and it was very, very bright because I bleached it before doing the henna and used Bright Red from Henna Hut. So, I went to professional hair dresser to dye my hair back to a medium/dark brown and grow from there.


I don't mind dark hair with silver roots rather than dark/silver roots and bright red/fading orangey ends." - speckla

Although I'm still(at 67!) not ready to go grey yet, I would do similar, since my colored hair is a reddish-brown, and my old non-grey hair was the last shade before hitting black. Brassy, fading red of any color, with increasing grey roots/grow-out would be REALLY hard to handle. I'd have my genius haircutter who is also great with color help me transition like what speckla is saying.
On another note, a few years ago, my best friend who colored for years, then decided to try to embrace her grey at 64, going through the long process of first getting highlights, then letting her hair grow out(she had shoulder-length hair and did not want to cut it short for which I can't blame her), really tried to like it all and everything, but just felt so OLD. The grey just didn't fit her personality or the way she dresses. So she went back to coloring. To be honest, I don't think the grey would fit me either. Believe it or not, when I had LESS grey, I waffled more back and forth between trying to grow it out, and then going back to coloring. I would make it as far as 3 months and cave. Again, this is with less grey. Just thoughts here, as I know this is all an individual thing as far as which way one goes. That said, I do see some people with beautiful silvery curls.
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Right now I'm covering my grey. I'm not sure even how much I have.
I have a swath of salt and pepper in front I believe, but all brunette still in back and underneath. right now I'm just not ready to stop coloring-but maybe soon.
I really wanted to go down the henna or hennindigo route, and would have if I had all brunette hair-I've been researching it for a few years.
However, I am planning on letting my silvers come in at some point in the not so distant future, and the way I color my hair now will allow me to do that much easier, with no or little line of demarcation.
I'm just afraid that the line of demarcation of my greying brown hair would be too obvious against the warm vibrant henna, for me.


I have my hair colored with A demi-perm every 12 weeks or so in the salon. (Redken Shades EQ). She lets it sit under a dryer for longer which makes it permanent. So far my greys have not been hard to cover over. When I decide to let them grow out, this will make it much easier, or maybe I can throw in a few highlights to help the transition, something I couldn't do with henna.
I think silver hair is beautiful-someday the coloring upkeep will get to be too much, and I will just let them come in naturally.

Last edited by Babyfine; 04-24-2015 at 11:52 AM.
I am embracing it at this point in my life. I tried 2 other times but guess I was not ready then. I am now retired and it has been much easier since my growout contrast is drastic. I have been on the journey for 11 months now and still have a ways to go before fully transitioned since I only trim the length letting the layers grow out. I am loving the fact that I no longer have to color my roots every 2 weeks.
Originally Posted by CurlyInParadise

I think you look great!!
I posted here back in 2011 when the thread was started, I was very much still running then and although I still wouldn't say I was ready to embrace the grey exactly, I'm going for it.
I've developed an allergy to dye and my brief encounter with henna wasn't too successful, so I don't really think I have much of a choice in the matter. I'm bracing for a rough time ahead as I'll have to go cold turkey - no blending the grey as I can't do the dye so again, not much choice.
3b in South Australia.
don't think of it as such a tough road, the time will pass and it gets easier by say month 5 and by month 9 you are really getting there. i highly recommend reading the book, 'going gray, looking great, by diana jewel. most libraries carry it. there are great photos in there with good tips on how to wear your hair during the growing out stage. we'll give you support and ideas here. you may be surprised and actually like your grey hair!
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It was about two months between my last chemical colour and the henna I did and I was quite surprised at the amount of grey I had. It's made me feel a bit better about growing it out - I always thought I'd have the dreaded skunk stripe but hopefully that's not going to happen. I've had an unpleasant time growing my fringe out over the last year and a bit, and I think that's weighing on my mind as it was such a slow process.
I've done lots of reading online and seen that book mentioned a few times, I'll keep an eye out for it.
3b in South Australia.
Embracing it. Though most people's reactions are "you're only 25, why not dye it?" My favorite color is silver and I've always wanted silver streaks so now I'll have them naturally.
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I'm on the fence but leaning towards dyeing. I just hate the chemicals. If anyone can recommend a few good henna/indigo threads with before and afters I'd really appreciate it.


42 and not ready for the gray. I just love pigment. Inky black hair. But I don't want to use anything that alters my hair texture. I hear henna may harden hair. That puts me off. Help!


Sigh....
I'm pretty much not noticing it except once in a great long while. I don't really look at myself in the mirror - I'm usually looking AT something specific, like my teeth or something if I do. But once in a great long while I'll notice the white in my hair and I'll be like "Huh. There's some more white than last time I noticed"

And then I forget about it.

So I'm not so much either/or "embracing" vs "running away" - as not really noticing it in the first place.
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Definitely embracing my silvers, have been for two years now, too many of them to do much else.
I really do love the way they have come in.
Definitely running. They are coarser and appear to curl differently, so they will literally stick out. I hope to start transitioning when I approach 40, but that will be a while. In the meantime, I am coloring it a very dark brown (almost black -- the color of my dad's hair when he had hair) with a fairly gentle dye because my friend is a stylist, and I can afford it when he does it
I was running but I never really thought about it. I was getting a trim and my hair dresser said you're really getting gray, you should get some highlights. Ok. Then later my current hairdresser said you're getting too gray we should do perm colors. I never gave either of these decisions a thought I just did it. Thinking about it now I probably would still do it as I was young and working in management at the start. My point is now I'm ready to embrace it but my husband (who never asks me anything like that) said he wasn't ready. I was ready to fight him and get highlights again and start growing it out. Demi color was a compromise I was willing to consider since my grays are now white and very resistant but still salt and pepper in mid-back crown area. It's only my first a application of Demi color but I do like how it lets the gray come through. I just feel like I never got to enjoy the silver so the area that I still have silver I think I want to enjoy. Besides the price and upkeep. I think I was really hating it because the white was so resistant and I thought that looked worse all the time and aged me more.
So for now I'm going back in time with the demi and I feel like I'm working in reverse. I'll revisit it every 5 years though.
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I am desperately running away from my gray. My hair started going gray in my 20s and at that time I didn't like it, but I was afraid to color my hair. I had read about how bad the ppd that is in all black dye can be, and also my hair is very fine and tends towards low density, so I was afraid of causing severe or permanent damage to it.

But my hair continued to get more gray and at some point I couldn't deny it any more. So I started looking into alternative dyes and found out about henna/indigo and when I finally tried it, I couldn't believe I didn't try it sooner. The conditioning properties of henna makes my hair so nice and manageable, I really regret I hadn't been doing it for all those years. At this point I only do my roots every 2-3 weeks with the 2-step henndigo, but I still get a sort of gloss effect on all of my hair. Although henna is time-consuming and a lot of work, when I'm done I'm always really happy about my hair after I'm done.

At this point my hair is over 90% gray, but even if I got my color back (haha), I would continue doing some henna treatment just to get the conditioning benefit.
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I'm embracing my gray hair. Even though I'm very young in my early 20's everyone in my family has gray hair starting around 14 years old. I plan to color it Gunmetal Gray with Ion hair dye. Probably add blue or purple to give it a wolf effect like Wolf gray.
I have light gray and white hairs.
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Hey curly/wavy peeps! I haven't been here in awhile - like three years and even longer before that. Nice to see some recognizable names from long ago! My avatar is probably from 2005 or so and my info is in desperate need of updating.

Having just turned 60, I'm seriously thinking about letting the gray come in. My sister, five years younger than me, let hers go and it's really very pretty. My "daughter of the heart" cosmetologist says I don't have enough gray to do it yet, but will help me to transition if I'm ready. Which I think I am, being that I'm getting tired of putting chemicals on it every two and half months or so.

My hair is already thin and periodically seems to get thinner. I don't know if stopping the highlighting will help or hurt that. I'm down to every eleven weeks or so between highlights (low lights, actually). I still love the dark look afterwards but it begins turning almost reddish a month before it's time to go again.

Definitely do NOT like the gray coming in amongst the reddish tones. I DO like when I look at the roots (like above my ear) and the gray is coming in mixed in with some of my natural dark hair that still comes in with it. The red, dark, and gray would drive me nuts just letting it grow out by itself.

Naturally, I'll talk to her about which direction to go, but wondering maybe what some of you long-time highlighters decided to do.
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Hey curly/wavy peeps! I haven't been here in awhile - like three years and even longer before that. Nice to see some recognizable names from long ago! My avatar is probably from 2005 or so and my info is in desperate need of updating.

Having just turned 60, I'm seriously thinking about letting the gray come in. My sister, five years younger than me, let hers go and it's really very pretty. My "daughter of the heart" cosmetologist says I don't have enough gray to do it yet, but will help me to transition if I'm ready. Which I think I am, being that I'm getting tired of putting chemicals on it every two and half months or so.

My hair is already thin and periodically seems to get thinner. I don't know if stopping the highlighting will help or hurt that. I'm down to every eleven weeks or so between highlights (low lights, actually). I still love the dark look afterwards but it begins turning almost reddish a month before it's time to go again.

Definitely do NOT like the gray coming in amongst the reddish tones. I DO like when I look at the roots (like above my ear) and the gray is coming in mixed in with some of my natural dark hair that still comes in with it. The red, dark, and gray would drive me nuts just letting it grow out by itself.

Naturally, I'll talk to her about which direction to go, but wondering maybe what some of you long-time highlighters decided to do.
Originally Posted by LavenderCurls
"don't have enough gray" to transition???????????/ this is the time to do it. you will get to have beautiful salt and pepper when enough gray comes in, now will make the transitioning easier. the more gray, the harder it gets. i was there.

also, what you said about your hair turning red, it is oxidizing and that would happen with my hair. not a good look. in fact, when i transitioned, i opted to avoid low ligthing because of that, i went cold turkey. never regretted it, just sorry i did not do it sooner.
my sister had gorgeous salt and pepper when she transitioned.

if your cosmetologist is going to try to convince you not to do it, i'd find someone else. coloring hair is where they make money, so.... i was lucky in that both my colorist and stylist supported me in my transition. colorist had even given me good tips to help with the transition.

don't know if you saw my thread, but lorraine massey, the author of the book, 'the curly girl,' is releasing another book, 'silver hair,' in february. she is also transitioning her hair.

follow your instincts and transition now. if you need support tips, let us know.
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sealants - jane carter nourish & shine

Last edited by rbb; 08-15-2017 at 02:21 PM.
The last few months before my scalp decided "no more!", I had been having a reddish colour put in my hair, I wish I had some words of wisdom/comfort for you but have to say, it wasn't pretty growing out. I had some highlights put in to soften the demarcation line which helped the transition, but then became very frustrating for me as they seemed to take forever to grow out, all the while getting paler and more orange. Have to say it was worth it in the end and echo what rbb said about it being a good time to do it. I was worried I didn't have enough grey but was actually surprised how much I did have, and was also surprised to see my natural very dark hair back again! It all blends pretty well and I've had a fair few compliments, which has been nice, especially when I was feeling a bit over the whole process.
Go for it!
3b in South Australia.

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